SUB 'When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change'.  I remember hearing Wayne Dyer say that many years ago and it really stuck with me.  While I understood the words at the time, I wasn't living it, I only wanted to.

Since arriving back home to Norman Wells, NWT last week, after gypsy'ing around out in the world for a few years (on a journey I chose to take in order to find myself, inner happiness, peace and purpose) I've been feeling elated.  My heart is singing louder than it ever has and I'm just SO happy to be home.  I wasn't sure what to expect really, as so many parts of the 'old' me have fallen away.  I could have come earlier,  however I don't do much these days without guidance from Spirit and I always listen, even if I don't want to.  Through dreamtime, in the not too recent past, I was finally given the green light!!  I always knew this time would come.  Time for me to come back to my beautiful little home town in the Arctic :))  How fitting that it turned out to be my birthday month, and the year I happen to turn 50!  

There's something profound about those milestone birthdays, an awareness of a shift in the lens through which one views life.  Bigger the number gets, the more aware one becomes.  At least that's how it's turned out in my experience.  What I've been noticing most about being home, is how much I'm not taking for granted anymore.  I'm finding pure joy in being surrounded by community and people I love (and I haven't even seen everyone yet!).  The simple things like being here while the fireweed and wild roses are in bloom; walking and sitting on the riverbank; complete silence; midnight sun and breathtaking sunsets; massive open sky for as far as you can see; the mighty Mackenzie River and mountains; and last but not least, dear old friends who have always loved and accepted me, especially when I didn't love and accept myself.

There was a time in my life here, when I took most of those things for granted.  I wasn't able to appreciate them like I do today.  I suppose there's a few reasons for that.  The first being, the absence of these things in my daily life for so long.  The second being, I've aged. The other being, I've changed the way I look at things.

There are memories in every place and every face, forcing me to look back over 30 years of my life here.  It's so clear to me now, how unhappy I was at many points along the way.  I seemed to be able to always find someone or something to complain about at every turn.  I can see now that this had nothing to do with how things 'were', and everything to do with how I looked at things.  It makes me a little sad that I stayed caught up in that way of life for longer than I'd like to admit.  I know there were many years where wild rose season passed me by, I hadn't stepped foot on the riverbank, let alone even notice the 'silence', or a beautiful sunset.  I was too busy being a slave to the life I thought I was 'supposed' to live, instead of living a life led by my heart and soul.  However, had I not lived that part of my life in semi-conformity, there would be no point of comparison really.  

I've noticed over time, my new ability to not take things for granted, has grown stronger.  Choosing to follow Spirit's guidance and live without a steady pay cheque for a few years, has me appreciating a bed to sleep in every night and food to eat.  I used to take those very simple things for granted every day.  As do most people.  To go 'without' for awhile has been a huge blessing in disguise for me.  It's not only taught me extreme faith, it's amped up my ability to be happy with the simple things.  I used to take the ability to buy whatever I needed, totally for granted!  Things that I used to think were 'necessities' (like a hair cut) have become something I no longer take for granted.  

It's interesting how sometimes people, places or a situation needs to be absent from our lives in order for us to learn to appreciate things more.  I'm not sure everyone learns it, but I believe sometimes that's the reason for the absence.  I would think someone who has lost everything in a fire or flood, learns not to take 'things' for granted.  Sometimes when we lose loved ones, we are reminded not to take the people in our lives for granted too.  I'm sure there are a million scenarios we've all lived through, but have we all learned?  Or do we conveniently forget, once circumstances change for the better again?  I guess that's the key really.  Is to not forget that things could be, or have been much worse.

It seems to me, the more one takes for granted, the more one is in the constant state of 'wanting' more or better.  When to change the way one looks at things (not taking things for granted) puts us in a constant state of gratitude for the simple things.

Peace, Love and Appreciation for the simple things!

It's a strange thing to experience isn't it? Vulnerability.  It seems many of us humans would much rather be in constant control, wearing our masks, and choosing the do-it-yourself route, rather than ask for and accept help, or share parts of ourselves we'd rather keep hidden.

To make ourselves vulnerable, is to take a risk, a leap of faith.  To embrace uncertainty.  To be okay with not knowing what is coming next.  To simply be open to whatever comes from us putting ourselves out there in a different way.  I think in an attempt to remain in control and 'together', or in wanting to it to appear that way to everyone around us, we rob ourselves of some potentially beautiful experiences.  We'd rather feel 'safe' and remain in our familiar place, even if it's not working for us.

Making ourselves vulnerable takes courage.  It can feel scary.  I'll admit that.  I'm no pro at it, that's for sure, but I have noticed that every time I force myself to do something out of my comfort zone (which has happened many times, over the past four years especially) I always learn something new.  I also observe myself becoming stronger after every experience.  

Vulnerability is not a comfortable feeling for any of us I'm sure, but any kind of inner growth isn't going to feel comfortable.  It's always through those uncomfortable times, we know we're growing.  I don't imagine a caterpillar is necessarily comfortable through the cocoon stage, as it morphs into a butterfly, but what a worthwhile process for that creature with the end result being freedom and flight!

In February, 2009, I left my very comfortable and familiar life in the Northwest Territories.  My soul had been calling to me for awhile already at that point but I'd been to afraid to do what I knew I needed to do.  My business was failing miserably and for years already.  I'd been living on my savings, and hadn't taken a pay cheque in 2 years at that point.  I'm not one to give up easily, or want to see myself as a 'failure', so I stuck it out in that stressful situation for far longer than most people I'm sure. 

Looking back now, I can see that I hung on too long because 'quitting' wasn't an option for me, not to mention I was horrified to leave my comfort zone and take a wild leap of faith!  That would require me feeling far too vulnerable.  I somehow found the courage (or maybe it was exhaustion from the stress? haha) and I did it.  I closed the doors on the travel agencies, cleaned out two homes, and two office buildings and was on the plane within six weeks.  I had no idea where life would lead me, what I did know was that I was being led.  I felt super vulnerable and afraid but I knew I was here to do something more with my life and to find inner peace and happiness.  That was my mission.

I had no idea how long it was going to take to 'land' so to speak.  I certainly didn't think it was going to be over 4 years or I probably never would have lept.  Okay, yes I would have.  This journey has found me at times, with very little money.  I understand completely now, that I was meant to walk this path.  To 'live' it, in order to understand what it feels like to have nothing.  I'd only experienced life taking money and everything that comes with it, completely for granted.  I look at life through a completely different lens now.  Amazingly enough, I've been able to find happiness and inner peace through the most financially challenging times of my life.  

Had I not been willing to take a risk, make myself completely vulnerable, and be willing to be led through these uncertain times, searching for true meaning in my life, I'm not sure I'd have found the Artist in me that I'd buried away in order to 'get on with life'.  Nor would I have learned to NEVER take anything for granted.  Ever.  Especially food and a place to sleep.  I'd also not have learned to find joy in the smallest & simplest things in life.  Mostly, I'd ever have learned the hardest lesson of all for me.  How to receive and accept help from others.  I'd always been the 'giver'.  That was  familiar and comfortable to me.  To receive or ask for help was far too vulnerable a place for me to go!  

My humble thank you to everyone who has been following along on my journey, everyone who has purchased a piece of my art, everyone who has given me words of encouragement, a meal, a bed, or a shoulder (and Bobbie for listening to your guidance to leave me a sketch pad, 2 pencils and an eraser before you drove off and left me to house sit for 6 months on Lummi Island in the beautiful state of Washington).  I had no idea how much that particular time would alter my life.  Finally to Cindy, for believing in me enough to welcome me into your home and family for the past year, having no idea how long it would take for my vision to be clear and for things to move as they are now. 

I don't love feeling vulnerable, probably never will.  I only know it's worth moving through the uncomfortable part to get to the good part and I'm going to keep doing it!  How about you?

Peace, Love and Vulnerability

‘That’s not fog.  It’s dragon’s breath.  It’s magical.  When the dragon’s breath comes, when the fog appears, it is a magical time, a mysterious time. Things begin to change.’
~ The Lessons of Love by Melody Beattie ~

I’ve been working with the moon cycles and Mercury retrograde cycles for quite some time now and have found that life has become a bit easier because I am aware of, and continue to use the energy of these cycles for my personal growth and healing.

Let me say first off that I have a basic understanding of astrology, I am not an astrologer. I’m simply sharing my knowledge and personal experience for those of you who are interested in the unseen energies that move in and around us constantly. 

Mercury retrograde energy can feel at times, like a fog has set in over our lives. If we can understand and accept that change is in the air and magic is happening behind the scenes, we can move through the fog with more ease and patience. As there will be a time in the near future when the fog lifts and things are clear and flowing once again.

There are three to four Mercury retrograde cycles per year and they last approximately three weeks. The planet Mercury in general, rules thinking and perception, processing information, education, travel and communication. So when it goes retrograde, it often affects these areas of our lives. For instance, we might notice more than usual, missed messages, misunderstandings, text messages and emails sent to the wrong person, taken out of context, or not being received at all. As well there is often travel mix ups and delays, problems with computers, cell phones, televisions, and vehicles. You might also notice situations, people and issues from the past resurfacing. Especially notice what was happening in your life during the last Mercury retrograde because whatever was going on in your life at that time, will likely resurface in some form so you can face that part of yourself again and continue to clear old unhealthy patterns. Sometimes it is to give you an opportunity to see yourself in a new light and see how you've grown since the last retrograde.

It can be a frustrating time for some people, especially if you are not willing to be honest with yourself and make necessary changes in your life. Or if you are pushing and trying to make something happen when it's not time for it to happen. It could be that your flight gets delayed or cancelled, you buy a new cell phone and it’s a total dud, or your computer crashes. Basically it’s life not going according to your plans. Try to remember something bigger is happening behind the scenes and you are ultimately not in charge even though you’d like to think you are!

This is not a time to make firm decisions, move forward on projects or plans, or sign legal documents or contracts. It can feel at times like we are pushing against a strong wind, so why not wait until the planet moves forward again, and have the wind CARRY us instead? When we insist on pushing forward at this time, we will often find out later that the paperwork couldn’t be completed because of some unforeseen circumstances, the contract or deal falls through, or new information is revealed that might have been important in our decision making process. It is also not the ideal time to purchase a vehicle or electronic equipment of any kind as there are often issues that surface later with respect to that equipment or vehicle, or it could be we just get a lemon.

The best way to use this retrograde phase is to research a new project, or resurrect and complete an old unfinished project, renegotiate a deal, reflect on life and recent situations, revise, review, and relax.

New information is often revealed to us by the end of this cycle, as there is likely something more to learn or release before moving forward on our path. It’s a great practice to back up our computers before Mercury retrograde. Confirm travel itineraries prior to travelling and do be prepared to be patient should your travel end up cancelled or delayed. 

Personally I’ve come to love Mercury retrograde despite the fact I’m bound to have some frustrating days. I am simply aware of the energy this cycle brings and use it accordingly.

Mercury Retrograde, friend or foe?  You decide.

'As I learn, I teach.  As I teach, I learn.'  I found these words rolling around in my head one morning as I contemplated life.  Words and a concept so simple, yet actually lived out, so very powerful.

It seems once a person has lived enough of their lives, making their way through the obstacles and struggles that are a part of our human experience, this concept becomes apparent, sometimes making some sense of our hardest times.

A mother who loses a child, eventually able to tell her story to others, helps another mother who's just lost a child understand she's not alone and she is stronger than she thinks.  An ex-addict who's turned his life around, becomes a beacon of hope for the addict who wants to live a better life but feels he doesn't have the strength or feel that he's worth it.  A woman in an abusive relationship finds the strength to take her kids and leave their abuser.  Her actions alone, inspiring a quiet young girl who's new boyfriend has abused her for the first time.  The homeless man, down on his luck, takes help from a stranger to get on his feet again.  The stranger was homeless and penniless at one time in his past, until a stranger helped him.  Someone's sister commits suicide, the experience leads that person to live a more spiritual life, now they help other families come to terms with their experience of losing a loved one to suicide. 

Trying to make sense of our lives isn't easy sometimes, especially when we are in the foggy, yucky, uncomfortable and painful part of some experience.  We usually have to let a lot of time pass before we can make sense of some things, and I think some things, we will never understand.  I think what's important, is what we do with our most challenging experiences.  How we react to the struggles we encounter is where our power lies.  

I believe we are all teachers and students in this class of life, and we continue to learn until the day we die.  We may affect hundreds, thousands, or millions of people, or we may only affect a few.   Maybe those few that we affect, may go on to affect many?  We can't be sure.  Sometimes we don't even realize how we've touched someone by sharing a story from our lives that they needed to hear in that moment, or by simply accepting others for who they are and where they are at in their lives without judgement, offering them the gift of belonging.

I've had many bottoms in my life, from all of which I've learned and grown a great deal.  They were very uncomfortable at the time and painful beyond belief but looking back on it all now, I can see those situations were all there as opportunities for my personal growth.  I chose not to let life's experiences break me, even though at times I felt like they would.  I can see now, everything has been there to get me aligned on my spiritual path, finding myself and learning to love myself more every day. This is the place I now find myself inspiring others and I didn't even know I was doing that!!

It always touches me deeply when someone tells me that something I have done or said has inspired them or helped them in some way.  Sometimes it's by way of these weekly blogs I write, sometimes through my drawings, and sometimes in conversation they remember something I've said, and sometimes it's just listening to their deepest, darkest, without judgement. Others have helped me to learn in this way as well.  

It's funny how after I write a blog or offer someone a new perspective on a situation, the universe will test me to see if I'm walking my talk, giving me the opportunity to learn from what I teach.  I notice this as well, when I do a reading for someone that the guidance is for myself as well. Certain situations or circumstances will always arise so I can practice learning from what I'm teaching!  It's cool!

It's a great reminder that we're always learning and teaching.  It keeps us humble and gives us the strength to keep going when we want to give up.  

Peace, Love, and Learn

'You can't force a chicken out of an egg or a leaf out of a bud....things take the time they take'.  I've found myself giving this advice in intuitive guidance sessions and in general conversation, over the past few years.

I do take my own advice and put these things into practice most of the time.  I'm human though and sometimes I forget and try to rush or force things when it's not 'time'.  That's when I find myself in an inner struggle and remind myself of a divine timing.

I've noticed there's a fine line between knowing when to take action and when more time needs to pass, so the climate is more favorable.  When I take action and things don't seem to flow, I realize it's not time yet for whatever it is I'm wanting so desperately to happen.  When I take action steps and everything flows, then it's time.  When things aren't flowing, I know it's either not right for me, or it's not time. That's when I turn my focus and energy somewhere else, more productive.  I've learned if I don't focus my energy somewhere else, I get stuck in my analytical mind, obsessing over whatever it is, or being angry and feeling sorry for myself because I'm not getting my way.  Oftentimes it takes me inward, to find a place of gratitude for what 'is', and in hindsight I can see that I had more growing, learning, and healing to do, or circumstances weren't aligned yet for my highest good.

Trying to force situations can feel like walking against a strong wind.  It's exhausting!  We'll eventually get to where we're going but it would be easier to wait until the wind is under our wings, lifting us up so we can fly instead.

We humans can be a pretty impatient bunch sometimes.  We want things NOW and OUR way and when it doesn't go that way, we either find ourselves sulking and feeling sorry for ourselves, or having a tantrum (which is all ok to do for a short time, it's part of our process....it's when we stay in those places that we stay stuck).

Accepting life on life's terms and timing, I've found to be a more peaceful path and the more I've found my own inner peace, the more I have been able to accept life on life's terms.  When something isn't moving as fast as I want it to or how I want it to, I practice trusting that Spirit can see ten steps ahead of me and things are how they are because I have more learning to do.  Or whatever it is I'm wanting to happen (or sometimes can see is meant to happen), will not be for my highest good at this time.  I choose to believe that life isn't working against us, it's working in our favor.

I've seen proof of this in my own life, when I look back at times when I wanted something to happen so badly and how disappointed and angry I was at those times.  It's very clear to me now, that I was being led to some place even better, and to a stronger version of myself through that process.  Sometimes when we are in that mode of wanting to force things to happen and it's clearly not time, we can use it as an opportunity to take a step back, and focus our energy into something we CAN do or change.

We each have our own rythyms, experiences, and ideas, and we all see the world differently.  We also have our own relationship with Spirit that is unique to us.  It is through the difficult times that I've learned to trust and cultivate this relationship in my life, as opposed to fighting it (as was my way for most of my life).  Sometimes I don't understand life, but I don't think we're always meant to 'understand' it as much as we're meant to 'experience' it.  Understanding sometimes comes over time, and sometimes not at all.


I try to remember that life is a mystery and there are no certainties.  As I remind myself of that more and more often, I've become more patient than I've every been and I've become more trusting that life isn't working against me, it's just working how it works.

Peace, Love and Timing

Last night I was listening to an interview with James Van Praagh as he took part in an online event called Healing with the Masters.  James is a well known psychic medium who communicates with souls who have transitioned to the other side.  I understand that many people are believers in this, and I also understand that not everyone believes that our souls continue on after this life.  I do.  Even if you're not a believer, please stay with me here, because I'd like to share a perspective that if we can remember to live by, might change a lot of lives for the better.

First, I'd like to say that I believe no human on this earth knows about such things 'for sure'.  We're only going to know 'for sure' how this all works, when it's our turn to leave this world.  My personal experiences are what make me a believer in the after life, and that we are souls from spirit having an experience here in human form.  The goal of the experience being that of love.

So, last night I'd drifted off through part of the interview and was nudged awake so I could hear a specific part of the conversation, I'm sure to inspire this blog! haha It was about karma.

After working for many years communicating with those on the other side, it's James' belief that when our souls cross over, we experience what is called a life review (this is not a new concept but keep reading), where we are taken on a journey back through our entire lives.  He believes as we experience this journey, we are made to FEEL (not see but FEEL) how we made others feel.  He says we are made to feel it even more magnified than how it was felt by those we experienced with.  Interesting concept right?

James went on to say it is never too late to change our lives and learn to be a better version of ourselves while we're here (which is nothing new to me but maybe someone reading might feel like it's too late - well let this inspire you!).  He said it's actually best, to make those changes here in this lifetime versus waiting or not changing at all.  He believes it's more powerful as far as affecting our over all karma if we do.  He spoke about our crossing over experience being one that felt like heaven versus one that felt like hell, depending on the karma factor we lived out while we were here in this life.

It's interesting how we humans are self absorbed most of the time, making it quick for us to pull up those memories and feelings of when we were hurt by others, yet we don't always think about how OUR words and actions might have hurt someone else.  We have all hurt others and we have all been hurt by others.  Period.  The starting point from here, is the willingness to forgive ourselves and do better from now on.

So, imagine if we all decided to take full responsibility for our lives and our actions from this day forward?  Imagine if we stop focusing so much on how others made us feel and waiting for karma to get their asses, and start focusing more on how we make others feel?  Imagine keeping in mind this concept of a day that will come where we are made to feel how we've made others feel?  Imagine.

We're not perfect though, and likely will not get through our entire lives without being the cause of someone's pain at some point, but if we let this concept remind us to live our lives more aware of how we affect others, the more peace we live while we're here and the less pain we feel when our souls go home.  Keep in mind too, that the happiness we've made others feel will also be felt in our life review!  Kinda makes a guy wanna spread that around instead?!  

So there you have it, food for thought. 

Peace, Love and Karma Baby 

Last year, a couple of  spiritual based 'self help' books made their way into my world despite the fact that I thought I had pretty much read them ALL over the past ten years.  The first one was Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford which led to the second book by the same author called Why Good People Do Bad Things.  She also made a movie called The Shadow Effect which was equally enlightening.  Debbie passed over to the Spirit world earlier this year and lucky for us, left her wisdom behind in the form of her journey and her books.

Since reading Debbie's books, I've been consciously watching myself and my shadows and asking Spirit to show me myself and these darker parts I was possibly still hiding from myself.  You know what they say, ask and you shall receive!  This journey into shedding the light on those still unseen parts of myself is one that has been instrumental in my growth process.  It becomes more evident by the day, that things outside myself that trigger me have nothing to do with them and everything to do with me and my shadow (God I love when it comes out like a song?). :-)

We are all human so we all have this part of ourselves called the shadow or wounded ego.  Many people are afraid of their shadow and don't even want to consider that they have one, let alone look at it.  It's that part of ourselves that believes bad things about ourselves because of earlier conditioning and usually painful experiences in our lives.  It is our inner loser, inner bitch, inner critic, inner judge, inner fraidy cat, inner rage, inner greed, inner jealousy, etc.  All of those traits we would rather 'push away' or not admit are there.  So we go through life pushing away and not accepting those 'ugly' parts of ourselves, instead of accepting they are a part of us.

Going through life pushing down or hiding our pain, shame, guilt, anger, and self hatred takes A LOT of energy.  It causes us to push away those darker qualities of ourselves and bury them so deep we end up wearing masks to cover up what we DON'T want to be.  We put on a 'show' to compensate for what we perceive as our shortcomings.  In the end it surfaces anyway.  The more time we spend trying to hide or cover up that part of ourselves, the bigger the incident when it rears it's head.  

It's interesting because we actually need our shadow sides at certain times in our lives.  It's to learn to call on those part of ourselves when it's appropriate instead of denying it's even there and walking around like we're all that and a bag of chips.  To quote Debbie in her movie "either you're going to use IT (your shadow) or IT'S going to use YOU".  I agree whole heartedly.  There are times when we need our inner critic, our inner bitch, our inner fraidy cat, etc.  We need not deny these parts of ourselves, we really just need to be aware when those parts of ourselves are making themselves known, and ask ourselves if it's an appropriate time for that part to be heard.

Our human basic 'shadow beliefs' are that we are not good enough, we are not loveable, and we are not worthy.  It makes me sad just to type that and think of all the years that I've allowed those beliefs about myself lead me through this life which kept me stuck in my old patterns of self hatred.  It really does make me sad to know that any human being feels that way about themselves, yet the fact is we all have or do.  Now how do we help ourselves move through our shadows?

The key to our freedom is in EMBRACING instead of RESISTING those parts of ourselves that have caused us the most pain and realize there is no dark without light and no light without dark.  We need to be grateful for the dark because if we never knew fear, we would never know our courage.  If we never knew weakness, we'd never know our strength.  If we never knew anger, we'd never know peace, and the list goes on and on.  The trick is to not get stuck in the old behavior and stories that run through our heads over and over.

It's interesting how along the highway of our lives, we humans don't tap into our handy dandy little built-in GPS devices all that often! Here we are gifted with this inner wisdom and guidance to help us on our journey through life, yet we talk ourselves out of what it's telling us or showing us, we argue with it, or we just plain ignore it! I find that quite humorous actually and I've certainly done all of those things more than once. I have learned that when I don't listen to my inner GPS I really do end up lost, taking the long painful way around, ending up at a dead end, and yes even crashing into that big obvious tree up ahead!!

It's ego versus Spirit from where I sit. We come from this amazing, magical, all knowing energy that created us and has the power and ability to have an animal turn color according to season, make a leaf come out of a bud, and turn a caterpillar into a butterfly. This same all knowing energy supplied us humans with an inner GPS and yet we get into OUR 'all knowingness' and logically override it's guidance ?? Denial is a factor too, sometimes we don't want to hear what we know deep down because that will mean change of some sort and we oftentimes prefer to keep things movin' right along avoiding the shake ups at all costs. Interesting bunch we humans are, and I would imagine quite humorous to observe from the Spirit world or an alien ship. They probably watch us all bumbling around trying to figure everything out on our own, spending hours, days and weeks obsessing over something we have zero control over, and making decisions that ultimately end up hurting us, when it's all quite obvious had we SIMPLY listened to our built in radar?

I know we've all experienced those times we didn't listen. You know how afterwards you sit in the chaos and debris and go 'something told me I shouldn't have done that, or trusted that person, or took that turn or whatever...I just KNEW it!' It's better to follow our intuition and make the changes we need to make before the universe kicks our asses and forces the change for us. In my experience the former is far more comfortable!

I think everyone's GPS works a little differently.....it might be a nudge, a whisper, a feeling, a knowing, or a vision but no matter the form in which we receive our inner guidance, we all have it. The more I've gotten to know myself and strengthen my connection with Spirit, the stronger and more specific mine has gotten. I receive it as a 'knowing' or as a 'feeling' in my gut and I actually ask Spirit to crank it up for me.....twist that puppy into knots if I'm on the wrong road pretty please!!! It's worked for me as long as I've listened and kept driving even though I couldn't see what was coming around the next corner.


It's extremely important in these times that we learn to trust our OWN intuition rather than looking to others to give us answers about our lives. It's great to get an outsiders perspective and suggestions but always come back to your higher self and follow THAT. Following our inner GPS means leaving out the questions 'how' and 'why' and learning to TRUST in working WITH it. Taking a turn that your gut is nagging you to take but your head is trying to talk you out of, will get you to your next destination with minimum wear and tear. Never hurts to apply a little patience too ;-)


So you just might wanna power up your inner GPS for the ride! Here's to the journey!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by what is going on in the world? Does your soul nag at you, that you are here to help in some way, but you feel unready, unsure, or worse small and insignificant?  Do you wonder how you can use your life and your voice to contribute to the greater whole?  Do you feel afraid to speak your truth for fear of not being liked or approved of?  Do you know deep down you need to make changes to your life but you feel stuck and afraid? Or maybe you are so self absorbed that you aren't thinking about anything but yourself and how everything affects only you?  I've felt all of these things at different times.

I think somewhere inside each of us is a voice that is always whispering to us.  Sometimes we listen and sometimes we don't.  The voice is more like a scream at times, which for me has shown up as a deep sadness, a longing for something more, as well as a feeling of overwhelming urgency that I am here to do more than go through the motions of a life that society dictates as the 'norm'.  I have also felt challenged by my anger at humanity, our systems, and the state of imbalance on this planet.  Sometimes this has had me feeling quite small and insignificant.  Like what's a girl to do?  and who's gonna listen to me?

Since I've been purposely and knowingly walking my personal spiritual path, I've learned that when I feel overwhelmed and small, or triggered by anger at the state of our world, that the most productive thing I can do is have a chat with Creator.  It doesn't matter what name you call the energy that is bigger than us, it only matters that we acknowledge it (and if we don't that's our choice, but it's been my personal experience that without that acknowledgement, life is lived more in a state of struggle, than one of peace).  I've found that to express my anger, worries, sadness, and concerns and ask to be shown the way, relieves me of feeling small and that I am somehow carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.  After my chat (some would call prayer), I let go and wait for my guidance.  It always comes.  There's a flow, a process that begins to happen when one makes this a constant practice.  I believe our relationship to Spirit is our own personal, unique experience and I can only share my own.  I've learned to lean on this unseen energy, rather than choosing to be angry at it, or not believing it even exists (which was my experience for the first 35 years of my life as I called myself an Athiest).  To be angry that things don't look how we think they 'should', or are not happening our way or in the time frame we expect, is to stay stuck and frustrated, which is energy we could be using to do what we can to help turn things around so we can all live in a better world.

I've learned that my partnership with that something bigger than me, has given me strength and courage to the point where I don't recognize myself some days, and I certainly never feel alone.  I understand that I (and you) are an extension of that energy, here in human form on a mission to turn this world around. What we've come here to do on a personal level, can be found a couple of ways, one is by looking at what we have been through in our past and believing that we are meant to help others by having experienced and healed through those experiences.  By healing our past and becoming strong enough to share our story with others, is purpose in itself.  Secondly we can look at what we are passionate about.  It may be children, animals, our food sources, or the environment.  It's usually what makes us extremely sad, or pisses us off and fires us up!!  We think 'someone' needs to do something about this!!!  That someone is us. 

I believe we all have a purpose that is unique to us, and that our collective purpose is to turn this planet around.  I believe many humans are already awake to this and are actively living their purpose, and I believe some aren't awake yet are actively living their purpose on a soul level, I believe some are beginning to question their lives and why they are here, and I believe that some will not be waking up in this lifetime, and that's okay.  I see us crossing paths with other souls who are in alignment with us, which is creating groups of people who are on the same wave length.  And there is always power in numbers.

I've also learned that when I am aware of, and purposely using my life to help the greater whole in my own little way, that doors of opportunity open and the next steps appear quite magically. But when I've put myself and my fears, or personal gain first, nothing flows and I live in struggle.  I've learned that things move slower than I 'want', and I've learned patience on my path to purpose.

We can often experience that feeling of insignificance when we put pressure on ourselves to do something 'big' right now, today.  Peace comes with taking small steps towards a vision, which leads to more small steps until we are beginning to see progress on our path when we stop to look back.  It's a process and it doesn't have to be taken all heavily and seriously (something I've also learned the hard way!). 

I've learned that the most powerful thing I've ever done has been to commit to finding my true self and my soul's purpose.  That process has me knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am not working alone because I have experienced the help that is always readily available to me from Spirit.  To understand and live this, is to experience the most powerful relationship I've ever had. 

Once I moved past the anger and frustration in my life, and I committed to discovering myself, my happiness, and why I am here, the answers have been and continue to be slowly revealed.  When I was seeking answers PRIOR to making a commitment to myself and my purpose, I would find myself continuously frustrated and going in circles.

I think we all have a part to play and no part is more or less significant than another.  We will not find our part by comparing ourselves to others.  We will not find our part by denying our gifts.  We will not find our part by avoiding the changes we know we need to make in our lives.  We will not find our part by numbing ourselves with addictions.  We will not find our part in the longing, wishing, waiting, hoping for someone to come along and do it for us.  We will only find our part by making a commitment to knowing ourselves on a soul level, then being courageous enough to share our souls with others, in whatever way that is for us.  It may be through speaking, writing, story telling, music, poetry, art, dancing, praying, teaching, etc.  The main thing is that we no longer stay stuck in our old painful stories because we are afraid of our own authentic power.  

Peace, Love and Purpose

I believe there is hope, even when we face death and loss.
I believe we’ve chosen this path to walk.
I believe we are not our bodies, I believe we are souls having a human experience.
I believe we've chosen to experience being human here and now which means death and loss of any kind is an inevitable part of that experience.
I believe we can experience the seasons in our lives much like we experience a rainbow after it rains or a leaf die where a bud appeared at one time.
I believe when we experience a person, animal or any living thing die, we are being shown that eventually something new will takes it’s place.
I believe that life moves in cycles.  A baby is born, a new opportunity appears.
One soul transitions to the next stage, making room for another.

I believe our souls choose to leave the earth plane when they do. I believe they never really 'die' they simply transition out of their human form.  I believe they remain beside us after they transition and they always leave lessons for us to learn by.  I believe we need to allow ourselves to cry, grieve, and miss them, all the while knowing they are near and we will heal.  I believe we can talk to them and they can hear us. I believe they talk to us all the time through dreams, songs, and other signs.  I believe death exists to wake us up so we live our lives fully. I believe it gives us the opportunity to stop and ask ourselves why we are here and what is it that we’ve come to do?

We experience death and loss continuously throughout our lives.  It comes in many forms.  We lose or change jobs.  We break up with a partner or spouse.  Our children grow up and leave home.  We move to a new house, or a new town.  Our friends move away or drift from our lives.

Change, transition, death is inevitable.  It hurts for awhile that's for sure but it doesn't have to hurt forever. I think the feelings make us feel uncomfortable which gives us  the opportunity to soften, become more loving, and grow spiritually if we allow it.  

When I was a young girl (that would be many, many moons ago now) I remember how I saw the world and our planet.  I can remember feeling quite hopeless actually in seeing very clearly that the humans were destroying the Earth.  I thought what's the point?! You've destroyed her!  Why am I in this place of destruction, pollution and disrespect, where people abuse the Earth, themselves and each other?  I felt like all this talk about God made no sense to me.  How could there be such thing as a 'God' that would have allowed this kind of abuse?  I also made a very interesting decision at that very young age, which was not to bring children into this world.  I felt VERY hopeless and angry.

Looking back now, I understand my soul's path and why that was my beginning, my wise soul knew why I was here but the human part of me needed to walk a very long road in order to be more aligned with my soul.  As we all do.  I love Mother Earth so much, and I'm passionate about her well-being and I needed to find my own way to my personal belief system, through those years of struggle.  What followed for many years was me being disconnected from a higher power, which resulted in my feeling so very alone and choosing to numb myself which rendered me powerless.

It's only been in the past ten years that I've found my faith and my path and a belief in what I call Creator.  It has only been since I've found that relationship with Spirit, and strengthened my personal connection with a higher power, that I have found purpose and clarity in my life, and hope.   I can see now why I felt so protective of Mother Earth back then, because as an adult, I would be using a gift I never fully understood until now. Giving a voice to her and the animals, birds and insects through my drawings.  I understand now that we're all a part of our Creator and I believe our souls chose to be here on this planet, at this very time, to clean up our mess.  I say 'our' because I think every single one of us has to take responsibility for how we've contributed and continue to contribute to the current way of the world. 

Mother Earth sustains us.  But we humans seem to have forgotten this.  We take her for granted every day, fully expecting water to come out of a tap, and a light to appear when we flip a switch.  While I have personally struggled as I've observed the ongoing destruction and disrespect toward her for my entire life, I finally have hope. Which is kind of interesting as she is in worse shape now than when I was a young girl.  

We humans are actually waking up, becoming more aware, and taking action which is what gives me hope.  The truth continues to surface daily with respect the trickery and greed in this world which I think is great because it means we can no longer ignore what is actually happening.  People are speaking out to give the Earth a voice and that gives me hope.  We are recycling and using more user friendly cleaning products, we are conserving energy and attempting to find more eco friendly energy using what she freely provides to us, wind, water, and sun. More hope.

I think sometimes we feel small, like how can one person make a difference to make a change this HUGE?  Turning a planet around.  Cleaning up our mess.  I think it's possible though, and more than that it's a must if we wish to leave something for the generations to come.  I also think that if we are here, on this planet now, we came here to do this.  No one is coming to save us.  We have to save ourselves.

If everyone takes the time to pick up some garbage, turn off the lights when they are not needed, turn down the heat in our homes during the day when the house is empty, turn off the water when we're brushing our teeth, takes the time to recycle, doesn't leave vehicles running, takes the bus, rides a bike, car pools when possible, buys used items, lives communally, and uses natural cleaning products, it will all add up and we become less of a burden.  Our power is in the collective and if we all do a little something we can and will eventually make a big difference.  Our future actually depends on it.

There's a healing energy simply in acknowledging what she provides for us, instead of taking it for granted.  We can show gratitude by being thankful to her for our breath, and for clean water to drink (which is being poisoned at alarming rates), warm showers, lights, heat, food, the ability to travel, and her breathtaking beauty.  I give thanks to her daily and that might not seem like much but it's something.  

While things aren't ideal just yet, at least there is hope on the horizon.  I sometimes wonder how a young boy or girl sees the world now, if I saw what I saw all those years ago.  Do they have hope? Or were they like me at that age, seeing how the humans that came before them destroyed our beautiful home and wonder 'what's the point'?  

Either way, they are who we leave this planet to and the generations after them.  Let's keep doing our part and honoring our Mother so they have more hope for the planet than I did as a kid.  Let's give them a seat at the tables where decisions are being made that ultimately affect them and their future.  Let's listen to them.

Peace, Love and Respect Your Mother

"Freedom from the desire for answers is essential to the understanding of a problem." ~  Jiddu Krishnamurti

Have you ever caught yourself going over a scenario in your head repeatedly trying to figure it out but no matter which way you look at it, you never get answers?  Me too.  I have.  It's a human thing but we can choose to change it if we want.

Sometimes we humans paralyze ourselves by staying in our heads analyzing and attempting to find answers to things that are simply not meant for us to know yet. We can't force a baby bird out of an egg or a leaf out of a bud.  We just gotta let it be and unfold in it's own time while we mosy off to do something productive.  

I used to have severe anxiety attacks where I'd faint and my lips would turn blue.  Anxiety is when we are in our heads trying to figure things out and wonder what is going to happen, so much in fact, that our breathing becomes shallow enough that we get weak and dizzy and sometimes faint.  I've learned over the years, to practice accepting what IS, and as a result am able to live in the moment more and more every day, which has my anxiety pretty much non-existent.  I will sometimes observe it mildly surfacing when life pulls the rug out from underneath me but nothing some deep breathing and acceptance work doesn't fix.

The time we humans spend trying to figure everything out actually robs us of living a more present life.  It has us missing what is really going on.  We're using all that energy going around and around in our heads aimlessly, never finding a solution anyway?!!  Wasted days and wasted nights (yes, I sang that).  It seems we're either crying over something that's behind us, or freaking out about what's before us.  What about right now?  What about today?  Do you see the ladybug or the blue jay?  Do you hear the music?  Can you smell the flowers?  Maybe you don't have time because you have to get back to figuring everything out and making a plan to fix what isn't meant to be fixed right now?

Usually taking a step back from the analyzing process, allows an answer to come in time.  Obsessing usually pushes the answer or desired outcome further away from us. The 'letting go' process is definitely a learned thing.  Like everything we want to master, we can only get there by practicing.  We must first acknowledge when we are obsessing and over analyzing.  Then from that point, we can CHOOSE to stop, accept everything and everyone exactly as is, and then CHOOSE to put our energy into ourselves or a creative project, or choose a thought of gratitude instead?  Or choose to send an uplifting thought that person's way or to someone who is going through a hard time. Or choose to talk to Creator, the angels or our spirit guides.  

Maybe a relationship has fallen away for whatever reason.  It happens.  There are people in my life who had to sever ties with close family members because they loved themselves too much to continue feeling hurt.  Sometimes that's the lesson.  We don't always have to figure out and fix everything.  We really can choose to just let it be or even let it go completely.  Guilt free.  Worry free.  Some relationships aren't meant to be 'figured out' or 'fixed' right now. We can let ourselves off the hook and let it be!  We can give ourselves the time and distance we need.  Finding inner peace and forgiveness is the main thing, and sometimes we have to take time and space to do that.  It's okay.  We are only in control of ourselves and our own actions.  If we want to fix something, why not make ourselves our own fix it project ;-)  I've found no lack of things within myself to work on! 

It's quite freeing and empowering to choose to just let things be perfectly unfixed, and choose who we allow in our life and not feel bad for making those choices. Surrendering to what IS.  I'll admit, for me, this feeling of not worrying or constantly analyzing and wondering how things are going to turn out, feels amazing yet at times unfamiliar.  I observe my ego wanting me to slip back into my old familiar ways.  I remind myself in those moments that everything is just as it is and it's not up to me to figure everything out and fix what clearly is not fixable or doable right now.  Surrendering makes room for an answer to come and for us to enjoy the journey more.  :-)

Peace, Love and Let It Be .....

We are 100% responsible for every choice and decision we make.  Period.  Sometimes we make choices that end up hurting ourselves and others.  And that's okay.  We're human.  I think that's how we learn and grow into better people.

Sometimes we feel stuck and don't feel we even have a choice but if we look further we will find there is always another option.  It may not be a comfortable or easy choice but it's there. 

Usually as we are making choices that end up hurting ourselves or others, there's a voice or feeling inside whispering to us making us aware that we may not end up liking the consequences of that choice.  We end up feeling bad and even hating ourselves for awhile (or longer) as a result.  Or, if we aren't ready to take responsibility for our choices yet, we will find ourselves complaining or blaming others or situations for the outcome. 

I know from my own personal experience that coming to a place of being able to take responsibility for my choices has been empowering beyond belief.  I have often ignored that gut instinct that is there to protect me from hurting myself and others, and I chose to place blame.  It seemed far easier at the time than taking responsibility!  In the end though, it wasn't easier because it kept me playing the victim.  Poor me.  Well, no more.

Since I've learned to take responsibility for my life, I've become more aware on a constant basis, of the fact that I am choosing what is healthy for me and what isn't.  This doesn't mean life is perfect or I am now where I want to be as a person, but it does mean I'm no longer angry with others or situations that were a result of my choices.  When we place blame in that respect and find ourselves angry about the consequences, it is usually a reflection of how angry we actually are at ourselves for making a 'bad' choice.

Taking responsibility for choices that have ended with less than desirable results, isn't about beating ourselves up over it (although it's sometimes part of our process), it's about seeing the opportunity to have compassion for ourselves through self forgiveness and making healthier choices next time.  On and on it goes for the rest of our time here.  Remembering that people and situations come into our lives to show us ourselves also helps.

Some questions you might want to ask yourself are:

Where am I placing blame in my life when it's actually a result of my own choices?
What choices am I making or have I made that I need to take responsibility for?
Where am I playing the victim in my life?
What do I hear myself complaining about and do I have the power to make a different choice that might change the result?

I think there will always be things in our past that we are not proud of but we can't undo what's been done.  We can only do better once we know better and make a pact with ourselves to make healthier choices from now on. 

Peace, Love and Choices

"This above all, to thine own self be true" 
~ William Shakespeare ~

Learning boundaries and how to say NO is a great place to start for those of us with the disease to please.  It's not an easy thing to start doing though, when we've had a life long habit of automatically saying yes in order to please other people, mostly to control whether someone will 'like' us or not.

There is one time many moons ago that sticks out in my mind when I was first learning to say no.  I remember how hard it was but I also remember how freeing and empowering it was.  It also became easier and easier to say after that.  At this particular time in my life, I had a lot on my plate, I was running my business and spinning hundred plates at once because that's how I thrived back then.  It was my diversion and it somehow filled my need to be needed.  I said yes to a Secretary position for the local Chamber of Commerce, which was something I would have said no too if I were being true to myself because I didn't have room to spin one more plate at the time.  But who else would do it if I didn't?  No one else wanted to.  Soooo, Barb to the rescue!

I'm grateful now for the time I spent taking on that role.  I did make a contribution and I liked the people I was working with, but mostly I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn how to be true to myself and say NO.  I began to dread going to those meetings and doing the minutes and struggled for quite awhile because I knew I needed to change this for myself.  I procrastinated speaking my truth because I thought everyone was going to be mad at me, and from my self importance, thought once again 'who will do it if I don't?'.  Well guess what happened?  I just stopped.  Told them I was done (with my tail between my legs) and guess what else?  The world didn't stop spinning, life went on, and they found someone else.  Mostly what happened was that I freed myself and it was easier than I thought. 

Sometimes it's something as simple as telling someone you would do something with them on Thursday, then Thursday comes and you're not feeling up to it, but you go anyway.  Not because you want to but because you felt you had to.  It's okay to speak our truth.  'Hey, I know I agreed to meet you on Thursday but I'm really not feeling up to it now, I have to look after myself today.  Sorry if I messed up your day, I hope we can do it another time.' 

To actually become aware of when we are saying 'yes' when we really want to say 'no' is the starting point.  If you are a pleaser, it helps to stop for a minute before you automatically say yes, and check in with yourself for your truth.  There is a difference between doing things from our hearts because we 'want' to and have the energy to, and doing things to 'please' because we want people to  like us.  The latter will have us sometimes feeling resentment and exhaustion, even though we are solely responsible for saying yes.  It's just about knowing our truth then expressing that truth, regardless of anyone's reaction.

Having boundaries is necessary if we are looking after ourselves.  Our boundaries say 'I will tolerate this' and 'I will not tolerate that'.  We truly do teach others how to treat us.  If we respect ourselves, we automatically demand and get respect from others.  If we aim to get respect by pleasing others, it will backfire and we will ultimately end up exhausted, resentful and mad at ourselves in the end.

Here's a cool thing I've learned.  There will always be someone who doesn't like us or who is mad at us.  So to exhaust ourselves through pleasing is pointless.  If we are honest with ourselves, we'll see that part of the reason we want everyone's approval is because we don't entirely approve of ourselves.  The more we learn to approve of ourselves and like ourselves, the less we find ourselves saying yes when we would rather say no.

We are constantly being given opportunities to learn new ways of doing things and I'll bet if you're a pleaser and you're reading this, you'll notice quite a few opportunities surfacing over the next little while, where you can practice saying no when before you would have automatically said yes.  Try it out :) 

Peace, Love and It's Okay to say NO

It is said that hindsight is 20/20.  This rings so true yet only becomes evident once time has passed creating a road map for us to look back on.

So many times in my life, since walking my spiritual path, I have followed my guidance to experience certain relationships and situations that haven't always ended up being all butterflies and bubbles.  I can see now that is because they were meant to be experienced to protect me from doing something that would not have been good for me at that time.  It was also to make me stronger, but I can only see that after time passed and I had a road map to look back on.  The series of events allowed me to connect the dots, so to speak, and understand it was for my good.

While I must admit that moving through those sometimes very painful experiences of the past was not fun or pleasant by any means, it is very clear to me now that they were all blessings in disguise.  Sometimes I felt I wanted something so very much and when it didn't work out I would get so frustrated and angry.  It was only after time had passed was I able to look back and it became crystal clear that it either wasn't right or it wasn't time.  I've learned through those experiences to trust that the universe can see ten steps ahead of me and is constantly conspiring for the highest good of my soul's path.

Keeping this in mind is a great practice because it teaches us trust and faith in a bigger plan for ourselves.  Bigger than our human part can dream up, even though we are fully aware of our potential and purpose on a soul level.

Moving through the difficult experiences can become something we meet with less resistance if we are able to take this perspective.  It offers us an opportunity to look for the crumbs of good along the way, as they accumulate to a point where we can look back some day and be grateful that things happened the way they did.  

If I try my best to make something happen and I run into obstacles, I stop and know there is something in the works going on behind the scenes.  Or if something I had planned gets cancelled, I watch to see what ends up happening at the time the event was meant to take place and it's usually that something better would take the place of the original 'plan'.  Sometimes I will cross paths with someone I was meant to see but that wouldn't have happened if the universe didn't arrange for the 'rejection' of my plan. 

I believe we are constantly being given opportunities to take the high road and when we do, we find ourselves working with the universe, instead of fighting the flow.  I only have my own life to reflect on to see how this process works but I'm sure if you take a look back on the road of your own life, you will find those times where you've felt rejected by someone or something and can see now that it was for your highest good.

'What is for you can't go past you' and 'rejection is the universe's protection' are two great mantras to remember when things don't according to our plans, and when things are muddy and muffled if we keep looking for the crumbs of good......we'll find them.

Peace, Love and Protection    

One of the lessons from The Four Agreements (Toltec teachings) by Don Miguel Ruiz is this:

~ Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. ~

I know, I know, easier to read and know this than to put into practice, just like everything else in life, however being willing to remember and begin to incorporate this into the things we practice is the first step to lightening our load.  In my experience, willingness and awareness are the most important ingredients in the recipe for changing our lives.  It doesn't mean once we 'know' something that we magically are living it to perfection every single minute of every single day.  Change is a process, and our power lies in our commitment to change and putting what we 'know' into practice.  We're all trying to become better people, better than we were yesterday and that takes willingness, awareness and practice practice practice!  That's why who we see as the 'challenging' people show up in our lives, so we can PRACTICE!! hehe

We humans don't learn and evolve through those happy, joy, blissful, high times and from the smooth relationships.  Those times and relationships are awesome and supportive and uplifting and we wouldn't know that if we didn't experience the opposite sometimes!  Our soul's growth depends on the challenging times and people and how we choose to 'react' to them.  It's so easy for us to stay in our old patterns, for instance when someone is attacking us with their anger it is our knee jerk reaction to retaliate with anger.  Reacting to anger with anger however, automatically puts us in a power struggle, where in the end no one wins.  Don't take it personal and don't engage are two great rules of thumb.  If we can think of these people as opportunities for us to grow, instead of a pain in the ass, we can eventually find gratitude for them.

When someone comes at me now with anger or attack energy, I no longer cower like I used to and be upset that someone is mad at me or doesn't like me, nor do I react with anger because I understand that person's emotion has nothing to do with me and everything to do with their deep rooted pain.  I choose now to not engage, but to walk away and send that person love and forgiveness from afar.  That too is often a process, as the attacking energy can be quite upsetting, especially if you're a sensitive empath, so when the attack memory surfaces again (and it will!), it's about making it a habit to surround that person in light and love, and to see that behind their anger, lazy, control, or bitch mask, they are in a lot of pain.  Like we all are at times.

Maybe there's someone at work that drives you crazy.  They could be control freaks, gossips, lazy, alcoholics, unreliable, bitchy and the list goes on.  I spent 17 years working in a Territorial government office and all I know is it takes all kinds to make the world go around and I encountered all of these types!  Back then it would have been nice to be aware of this powerful understanding but instead I was constantly reacting and found myself in power struggles all the time.  I was also a control freak and admittedly one of the challenging people!!  Ya lives and ya learns!  I can tell you this, from my experience it's easier to simply 'accept' what is, how people are and where they are in their lives rather than wish they were different so as to make your life easier.  They may never change, but WE can!

It's especially tricky when these challenging people are part of our family, whether that's blood family or soul family, but the same applies.  We can take a deep breath and pretend we're having an out of body experience and don't take their behavior personally or we can engage in a power struggle.  We can acknowledge their pain, pray for them and know that they are big girls and boys and will hopefully figure out their 'stuff'.  We can choose to keep them in our life or to keep our distance and we don't have to 'feel bad' (I know that's a hard one for those of us with the disease to please ;-))  We all have the same help available to us from Spirit, we aren't here to be everyone's rescuer.  Rescue yourself and save yourself the struggle by remembering to practice not taking things personally and choosing to send love back .....the result is one similar to pouring water on a fire versus giving it more oxygen. :D

One of my practices now is to observe the behavior of the other person and before I react with words I might regret, I breathe, sleep on it, and look at whether this is a trigger for me to see some trait in myself that is attracting a repetitive type of person to me. If not, then I see it as a boundary issue and I try to remember their behavior is a result of their personal pain (the more difficult the person the deeper the pain).  I then vision them in a pink bubble of light and ask Creator to send extra help to them.  Sounds crazy perhaps but it's alot less stressful than how I used to do things!!  I find as I remember to practice this, that I begin to feel lighter and happier, not engaging and creating unnecessary drama.   Resentments begin to fall away too, and I have slowly freed myself.

Letting situations go and sending good energy their way takes less energy than engaging and creating drama, then telling everyone about your drama, and what that person did or said and keeping that negative energy alive.  Far easier to accept people are how they are, no one is perfect, many are in deep pain every day and act from a lower space as a result.  It doesn't give anyone the right to abuse us with their anger or attack energy, those are the people in the most pain but that's not ours to take on.  We have to look after ourselves by drawing a personal boundary and choosing to remove that person from our lives and love them from afar if that's what we need to do to look after us.

It's also a great idea to be aware of when we might be the difficult person and be open to looking at our own underlying pain.  At different times in our lives, we've all acted out in ways we might not be so proud of, so cut the other guy some slack and try not to take it personally.

Peace & Love

"Take a look around, tell me what you see, is who you think you are, who you wanna be?  It's okay to be a little broken, everybody's broken in this life, it's okay to feel a little broken, you're alright." ~ Bon Jovi

Everybody's broken.  No human is exempt from pain and struggle in this life it seems.  Each and everyone of us has a story, and no one's story is more or less important than the other, it is simply our own personal journey.  The thing is, we have a choice to stay broken and make that the story we tell ourselves and others for the rest of our lives, OR, we can use the broken'ness as an opportunity to see ourselves and heal so we can one day tell the story from a less broken place.  

It's been my experience and observation that many humans are afraid or unwilling to really look at where we are broken, and instead put on various masks to face the world, in attempt to hide our broken selves.  Masks can come in the form of self righteousness (hiding inferiority); control (hiding vulnerability); bullying (hiding extreme pain and fear of further pain); humor (hiding sadness); aloof (hiding vulnerability); etc.  When we are willing to be aware and heal from this broken place, we will keep our masks handy for use while our old 'stuff' continues to surface until it eventually works itself out.

It's uncomfortable to make ourselves vulnerable, but that is where we must go in order to let others in past the masks we wear to protect ourselves from what we perceive as judgement from the outside world.  The illusion here is what we think others think of us, is actually a mirror to show us where we judge ourselves.  In my experience I notice if my judgement of another surfaces, that it is simply there to show me that I'm still in judgement of myself in some way.  I notice this with others as well.  When I encounter a person who is constantly looking around and judging others, that they truly are that hard on themselves.  I have compassion for their pain.

When we make a commitment to go within and be aware of ourselves and where our shame, sadness, grief, hatred, judgement, guilt, unforgiveness, etc. lies, then fully accept and love those very human traits that we all have, we are able to shatter the self created chains we keep on ourselves. 

I think we've all been taught in some way that there was no room in our lives to be broken, yet the fact is everyone is broken to some degree and it's there as an opportunity to see our broken selves.  It's from this broken place that we hurt ourselves and others.  If we look at our past hurts and choose to nurture that broken little boy or girl who is a part of us and find compassion, we begin to notice ourselves softening. Then slowly we notice the masks we have worn and walls we've built around our hearts in order to protect ourselves from further pain, fall away, creating more room for freedom, love and joy in our hearts.

If we see or know a child in our lives who have been hurt in some way, we automatically have compassion for that child.  So why not have compassion for our own inner child who has inevitably experienced hurt?  It's good to take a look too, at times when our actions have hurt other people and understand that we were acting from our broken place and it actually had nothing to do with the other person.  The opposite is true, the actions of others we've felt hurt by, also come from their pain.  We have no idea about the pain another has experienced and we have no control or power over their actions or how they choose to live their lives.  We only have power over our own choices and actions.

Going to those broken places within ourselves is not comfortable, but it's necessary if we are tired of feeling broken, continuously hurting others, or attracting relationships with people who will re-create the old pain so we can heal it, and telling the same old story like a broken record even we are tired of listening to.

I've had huge walls my whole life, and my experience has been that they don't all crumble at once.  They fall away one at a time and just when you think the last wall has fallen, another seems to appear until eventually they are few and far between, and life continues to ease up and look and feel different.  It continues to feel more safe to put our true authentic face to the world, no longer feeling like we need to hide the broken to protect ourselves. One day we're able to look back and bless the broken road because it was an opportunity to heal.

Healing doesn't happen overnight, it happens over time and the time is gonna pass anyway so why not use it to heal?  

Leaving you today with a video of Bon Jovi's Everybody's Broken.....enjoy and go easy on yourself ;-)

Re-Post:   Mercury has just gone retrograde again (February 23rd) and will remain so until March 17th....here's a reminder about the energies this cycle brings and how to use it in your life if you so choose :-))  

‘That’s not fog.  It’s dragon’s breath.  It’s magical.  When the dragon’s breath comes, when the fog appears, it is a magical time, a mysterious time.  Things begin to change.’  ~ The Lessons of Love by Melody Beattie

I’ve been working with the moon cycles and this cycle called Mercury retrograde for quite some time now and have found that life has become easier because I am aware of, and use the energy of these cycles for my personal growth.  Let me say first off that I have a basic understanding of Astrology, I am not an Astrologer, and it’s not my intention to make believers out of those of you who have no belief or interest in this stuff.  I’m simply sharing my knowledge and personal experience for those of you who are interested in the unseen energies that move in and around us constantly.  They can be very helpful for personal growth and awareness.  As above, so below.

Much like the description in the lead-in quote above, Mercury retrograde energy can feel at times, like a fog has set in on our lives.  If we can understand and accept that change is in the air and magic is happening behind the fog, we can easier move through the fog with patience and in anticipation of a time in the future when the fog lifts and things are clear and flowing once again.

There are three to four Mercury retrograde cycles per year and they last approximately three weeks.  There’s a shadow period for days before and after the actual retrograde period when the energies are felt, just not as strongly as during the actual retrograde. 

The planet Mercury in general, rules thinking and perception, processing information, education, travel and communication.  So when it goes retrograde, it often affects these areas of our lives.  For instance, we might notice more than usual, missed messages, misunderstandings, text messages and emails send to the wrong person, taken out of context, or not being received at all.  As well there’s  often travel mix ups and delays, problems with computers, cell phones, tv’s, and vehicles.  You might also notice situations, people and issues from the past resurfacing.  Especially notice what was happening in your life during the last Mercury retrograde because whatever was going on in your life at that time, will likely resurface in some form so you can face that part of yourself again and continue to clear old unhealthy patterns.  Sometimes it's so you can see yourself in a new light and see how you've grown since the last retrograde.

It can be a frustrating time for some people, especially if you are not willing to be honest with yourself and make necessary changes in your life, or if you are pushing and trying to make something happen when it's not time for it to happen.  It could be that your flight gets delayed or cancelled, you buy a new cell phone and it’s a total dud, or your computer crashes.  Basically it’s life not going according to ‘your’ plans.  Try to remember something bigger is happening behind the scenes and you are ultimately not in charge even though you think you are! 

This is not a time to make firm decisions, move forward on projects or plans, or sign legal documents or contracts. It can feel at times like we are pushing against a strong wind, so why not wait until the planet moves forward again, and have the wind CARRY us instead?   When we insist on pushing forward at this time, we will often find out later that the paperwork couldn’t be completed because of some unforeseen circumstances, the contract or deal falls through, or new information is revealed that might have been important in our decision making process.  It is also not a time to purchase a vehicle or electronic equipment of any kind as there are often issues that surface later with respect to that equipment or vehicle or it could be we just get a dud.

The best way to use this retrograde phase is to research a new project, or work on unfinished projects, reflect on life and recent situations, revise, review, relax, renegotiate a contract or situation, go back over old ground, clear out the old things (personal patterns that aren't working anymore, emails, computer files, paperwork, closets, garage, vehicle) that no longer serve you in order to free up energetic space for the new to come in.  

New information is often revealed to us by the end of this cycle, as there is likely something more to learn or release before moving forward on our path.  People from our past will often times surface at this time.  It’s a great practice to back up our computers before Mercury retrograde!  Confirm travel itineraries prior to travelling and do be prepared to be patient should your travel end up cancelled or delayed.  I’ve learned to roll with the travel delays over the years…I used to be SO anal!!  Now I understand the universe can see ten steps ahead of me and I watch for new people I might meet or circumstances that transpire that I might have missed due to the delay.  Maybe it’s there to teach us patience, maybe it’s there to save our ass.  It’s best to trust those delays.

Personally I love Mercury retrograde!!  I used to dread it when I owned and ran a travel agency though!  Yikes.  Although having an understanding of the energies of this cycle and keeping a sense of humor helped!  When wires got crossed or computer systems went wonky, I could find some humor in it knowing full well that Mercury was behind it!  Now I use this time to reflect, do a life review, watch what old stuff is coming up for me emotionally, and I put my energy into researching new projects or pulling out old unfinished projects.  I also clean out old emails and outdated files on my computer.   I am simply aware, and do a lot of deep breathing and practicing patience, all the while knowing full well that clarity and a time to take action awaits.

So?  Mercury Retrograde, friend or foe?  You decide.

Peace, Love and Mercury

I think two of the most powerful words in the english language put together are I AM.  

We humans have this tendency to put negative words behind those two words.  I AM a loser.  I AM not good enough.  I AM broke.  I AM fat.  I have caught myself over and over again over the years doing it.  Mostly unaware when I was doing it.  Now that I'm conscious of my thoughts, I'm able to catch myself and practice putting positive words behind those two words.  :-)  Yes, I said practice.  Seems the saying practice makes perfect leaves the perfect as some amazing place in which we arrive one day.  My experience is there is no such thing as perfect so the emphasis best be placed on 'practice'. 
 
I AM amazing.  I AM enough.  I AM where I am and that's ok.  I AM smart.  I AM different.  I AM confident.  Changing the words we put behind the I AM has the power to transform our lives from one of self loathing and judgement, to one of self love.  Eventually.  After aLOT of practice!

So many of us walk through life thinking that we can never really live our dreams or be all we can be because we've made these huge 'mistakes' in our past.  I believe the words mistake and sin fall into the same category but many have been taught that to 'sin' is unforgiveable and punishable, yet I believe all the souls here in human form have come to learn and evolve and if we never made mistakes or sinned we would not be experiencing an opportunity to grow.  We feel because of our past actions, we are not worthy of good things in life because we're now such a horrible person.  This isn't true and couldn't be further from the truth! 

I think the ironic part is that part of the human earth life experience is to make 'mistakes'!!!  This is how we learn and teach others.  It's part of the deal. If we cruised through life being all perfect (there's that darn word again) then we wouldn't actually be 'experiencing' life in order to become more wise.  

The trick is to know we are forgiven for whatever we think we've done that's so so so horrible!  Some people's 'mistakes' are huge in society's eyes.  Some people steal some people assault others, some people have deep dark addictions, some commit adultery, and some people kill people.  I don't believe we are judged for our 'mistakes', I believe we are judged by what we 'learn' from our mistakes.  Maybe part of your purpose is to teach criminals about turning their lives around?  If that's the case, then wouldn't you have to become a criminal first?? (which would look from the outside in, as a HUGE unforgivable mistake)?  If you're a goody two shoes and haven't done time and rehabilitated, what criminal would listen to you??  A criminal would listen to a reformed criminal before he's going to listen to some guy who's got no life experience!!  Catch my drift ;-)  

You can apply this scenario to some past 'mistake' you feel you made.  Maybe you are meant to realize that you are not meant to carry shame and guilt the rest of your life, maybe you are meant to actually experience making that mistake then get up, dust yourself off (by forgiving yourself) and taking the high road.  Understanding that you are NOT what you've done in your past, you truly are what you have overcome.  

I've made many so called mistakes but I've chosen to learn from them and change my life so they move from being 'mistakes' to 'lessons'.  Seems so many get stuck in the guilt and shame phase of the process and stay there for the rest of their lives, choosing to 'numb' themselves in various ways.  It's never too late to face ourselves and face up to our past.  Look it straight in the eyes and say hey, I messed up bad. Am I willing to put this behind me?  If we aren't ready to face our 'mistakes', we can start with just the 'willingness' to do so.  Being willing, opens a door to new possibilities for ourselves and the process can begin.
 
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  Am I willing to forgive myself and do the best I can from this day forward? How am I going to use this experience to become a stronger and better person? How can I use my life and lessons to help other people!!  

No one said this life was easy, but we all signed up for it and here we are.  So let's stop judging ourselves for what we've 'done', so we can stop judging others for what they've 'done'.  I don't have the priviledge to see life's big picture and neither do you.  Creator, Universe, God, Source or whatever you call all that is, can see the truth so we're off the hook taking on the role of Judge.  Whatever is between that person's soul and Creator, is between them. 

Let's take responsibility for our past actions and our future actions....and choose to overcome.  On a soul level we are experiencing life on life's terms and we aren't always aware of what our soul agreed to come here to do.  Lets allow ourselves to forgive ourselves, wipe the slate clean and start over, no matter how unforgiveable we may think our past actions may be!  If we stay in a state of unforgiveness toward ourselves for the rest of our lives, we waste our potential to truly live the life we were meant to live.  

Peace, Love and Mistakes

D-on't E-ven N-otice I A-m L-ying (to myself)

Denial is one of our built in protective mechanisms.  I think all of our emotions and reactions are there for us to use sometimes in order to cope and make our way through life when things are too much to face.  Denial comes in handy when something feels to painful to look at or process, or when we are afraid to see certain truths.  Being in denial works for us in times where we do not feel strong enough to see and face the truth of what is, but staying there for too long can wreak havoc for us.  Denial creating havoc in our lives will always appear as pain.  Usually when the universe is urging change in our lives for our highest good, we can remain in the energy of resistance by way of denial.  Lying to ourselves about the truth that our highest self is always aware of, but our human side is too afraid to face.

When we embrace our denial and quiet that voice inside that doesn't want to be truly honest about what is 'really' going on, because we are afraid of the changes we 'know' we must make, we are honoring ourselves and our soul's path. 

Denial can come in the form of not wanting to look at whether our spouse is loyal, whether we are settling for less than we deserve, whether we are chronically addicted to certain people or behavior, whether we are dying, whether we are treating others badly, whether we are needing to leave a relationship that isn't working for us, whether we need to get healthy, and the list goes on and on.

Our place of power is always in the present moment so the sooner we are willing to look at what we don't want to look at, the sooner we see the choices available to us so we can make healthy changes in our lives.

We humans will tell ourselves all kinds of stories to avoid self awareness, and the pain that must surface in order to be felt (we gotta feel it to heal it), so the old and worn patterns and pain can finally fall away.

Through this process (and everything is a process) we eventually free ourselves from situations that bring us unhappiness, to make room for a better version of ourselves and more fulfilling situations to enter our lives.

Letting go of denial allows us to speak truth to ourselves in the form of 'I am afraid', 'I am lost', 'I am confused', 'I am unhappy', 'I am an alcoholic, workaholic, sexaholic, etc)', 'I am mean', 'I am angry', 'I am hurting myself', 'I am playing the victim', 'I am unfulfilled in my life', 'I am a control freak', 'I hate myself', 'I am a martyr', etc., etc., etc.  We are not to face ourselves by judging and criticizing ourselves once we are out of denial, we are simply admitting our truth to ourselves, and from a place of truth only good can come and change can happen. 

Not everyone is ready to face themselves and some will never be ready, but if we are wanting to live our best life and become the best version of ourselves, looking at where we are in denial in our lives is a great start!

"This above all, to thine own self be true" ~ Shakespeare

Peace, Love and Denial

We've all hurt others at one time or another in our lives, and we've also felt hurt by others in our lives at one time or another.

If we can understand that we humans act, at times, from a place of our own pain, we can eventually understand compassion for some people's hurtful actions.  This is where the teaching comes in about taking nothing that others do, personally.  It's a hard one to get one's head wrapped around, especially when w have felt so deeply hurt by the actions of another.  We can even take it to the extreme acts of abuse and even murder if we can open our minds that far.  A person who abuses another phsically, emotionally or even sexually, I believe has very deep, unhealed pain from past experiences.  Often times having experienced traumatic, even what we'd consider horrific events in their childhood or younger life.

This kind of pain experienced, can cause a closing of heart and emotions, a built in mechanism of human self protection.  If we've been hurt, and we harden and be mean, no one will or can get close enough to hurt us again.  The meaner the better actually.  Pain that is deep rooted and never looked at or dealt with, can surface in unspeakable ways.  All we have to do is look around this crazy world to see the evidence of this..  The anger, the hurt, the pain coming out in the form of abuse, hate, anger, destruction, killing, etc.

I think that many people will not heal their pain in this lifetime and many people will.  We only have power over our own lives and no one else's.  Our power lies within and it's never too late to make a fresh start.  Our power is always in the now.

When we have a willingness to look in those dark, scary places of our own pain and take responsibility for our own unhealed pain, and the pain we've caused others as a result, forgiveness can eventually happen.  Self forgiveness thus the forgiveness of others.  I've found for me, self forgiveness has had to come first, and as that journey unfolds, the old layers of feeling bad for past actions comes up, a feeling compassion for everyone else's place of pain and the hurt they may cause others from that place, can be understood.  We have not walked that person's journey or experienced their pain and they have not walked mine.  Understanding, compassion and forgiveness doesn't mean we gotta hang out with those we've felt hurt by, it means freeing ourselves from holding on to the resentment that's ultimately hurting US.  I pray for them to find their way, continue to work on my own 'stuff', and surround myself with people who lift me up and continue honoring my own healing journey.

I'm sharing a guided meditation from youtube that I listen to when I feel the need and it's totally helped me ALOT.  If you dare to listen, it may bring up some uncomfortable feelings and even bring some tears, but that's where the healing is.

Thanks for reading.....I honor your journey.

Peace, Love and Healing

Have you ever taken a side?  You know what I'm talking about, people in your world are disagreeing, not getting along, one person does something the other person thinks is unspeakable and runs to tell you about how horrible the other person is....or maybe you witness something between two people and you form your own opinion, place a judgement and take a side.  I find this human behavior of ours quite interesting to observe.  It runs especially rampant within family units and causes mixed feelings, bad feelings, and unnecessary upheavel.  In my experience it can all be prevented by practicing one simple piece of advice: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.  : )  What is between two people is between two people.  It's none of our business. 

It's hard sometimes actually putting this into practice because we love our family members and friends and feel protective of them, so when one feels hurt by something the other has done or said, it's not the easiest thing to take a step back...stay detached...just listen and offer support without judging or taking a side.  If we come from a place of understanding that those two people have something to work out and learn from each other, we can manage to put this into practice, and we are one step closer to finding our inner peace. 

Have you ever taken a side and regretted it?  I have.  More than once in my life that's for sure and it's sometimes left me sitting alone being the odd man out in the end.  Once the two people who were having issues ended up working through them, forgiving and loving each other again, there I was on the outs with the other person who ultimately did nothing that had anything to do with me in the first place!  Awkward!!

It's interesting to observe people, after being 'hurt' by another, run around telling everyone their version of the story in an attempt to accumulate allies!  My advice?  Don't fall into this trap!  Don't be their ally just be their friend.  It's far healthier to offer your ear and some compassion and let them know there is some life lesson they are having to learn as a result.  Let them know you are there for them but you aren't willing to get involved, just do yourself a favor and don't take a side.   

The next time your friend, or sister, or brother, or cousin gets into a conflict with someone.....try practicing detachment and minding your own business.  See how it feels not to get over involved in the lives of others (after all this is just a distraction to not have to face our own life!).  Or the next time you feel that someone has done you wrong or is triggering you, don't attempt to gather allies....take a step back and ask yourself what it is you are meant to learn about yourself through that experience and take responsibility for your part.

We are all on our own journeys and learning about ourselves as we go.  Go easier on yourself and on others, think before you speak, set necessary boundaries with others, and don't forget to mind your own business!! ;-)

Peace, Love and Mind Your Own Business

You know that saying 'you gotta see it to believe it'?  I think the more accurate saying would be 'you gotta believe it to see it'!  Believing in the so called 'impossible' and keeping my faith in my dreams against all logic, has resulted in the realization of some of my dreams and desires on my journey so far.  

In my younger years, growing up in a small town in Northern Ontario, I would dream of swimming with dolphins.  Where was the logic in that?  From where I sat at the time, it seemed like an impossibility, but I never lost faith. I always KNEW I would swim with my dolphin brother and sisters one day, and I did.  It happened organically many moons later when I was in my early thirties.  I didn't TRY to make it happen.  I just kept the vision my whole life and trusted it would happen, and it did. 

Swimming with dolphins was one of many visions I had for myself in this life.  The one I felt to share with you today as an example of needing to believe in something in order to see it.  There are many, many more I could share with you, but that would be a book not a blog!  Some are small in comparison to others and some have fallen away as they aren't aligned anymore with the person I've become.  

An important part of the visioning process is that we don't listen to the people who call us crazy and tell us that the vision we may have is 'unrealistic'.  They may say 'that'll never happen', or 'who do you think you are?', or they may even tell you 'that's impossible!'. Or maybe it's our own voice saying those things to ourselves. My advice is not to listen to them, or the voices in your head that may be whispering (or screaming) those very same things to yourself.  It's best to surround ourselves with people who lift us up, not pull us down.  Remember those people are in our lives reflect our own doubts back to us.  It's a projection of their own fears about living their dreams.  Maybe they're afraid to live their dreams?  Or maybe they're afraid that if you live yours, they will lose you?  We humans really are a funny bunch, and the reasons aren't that important.  What's important is that we find a way to do what we love, to be who we are with no excuses or pretences, to believe in the so called 'impossible', and to keep the faith where our hearts desires are concerned.

If you are happy playing and making music, then do that.  Put your heart and soul and energy into it, and the universe will support you by opening doors of opportunity to swing open to get your music out there to bring joy and healing to whoever is meant to hear.  You may be a rock star one day, or maybe not, but you WILL touch the people you're meant to touch doing the thing you love to do.  In the end, it's not about becoming a rock star anyway, it's about what you believed could happen. It's about what was created from your heart and freely given with the spirit to lift someone else up. Oprah's vision was not to be rich and famous, but rather to use her life.  By following her heart and listening to her soul, the universe kept opening doors for her and giving her the platform she needed to do what she came here to do.  Being rich and famous was simply a result of her using her life in service. 

I like to draw and write.  It feeds my soul and has me feeling fulfilled.  I put it away for many years as I lived life according to others, doing what I thought I was 'supposed' to do next.  However, putting that part of myself away was like packing my heart away in a box and putting it in storage while I followed the sheep.  There was this emptiness inside that could not be filled with anything or by anyone, despite my constant attempts at reaching outside myself to find fulfillment.

It's great to remember that everything in this life moves in cycles.  So just because things are not transpiring as fast or in the way that we 'want', it doesn't mean it will never happen.  Everything has it's 'time' and will transpire if it's for our highest good and the highest good for all.  I keep a saying by Colette Baron-Reid constantly in my mind....."what is FOR you, cannot go past you", and one from Spirit came through loud and clear one morning that has stuck with me, it was simply "what's the hurry?".  

The cool thing is there is not ONE person exactly like us on this entire planet.  We've all come here with our own unique sense of being.  We have our own gifts, dreams and desires, and not one person's bucket list would be exactly the same as anyone else's.  I think the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others is a version of our true selves.  It takes the ability of self awareness first and asking ourselves the hard questions like 'who am I'? and 'what do I truly desire'?  We are the only ones who can answer those questions.  

It's been an interesting journey so far, the one to find my true self.  Sometimes accompanied by struggle and sometimes experiencing joy and elation at levels I'd never reached previously.  Sharing one's soul with others can feel like a vulnerable road to travel at times, I'll admit that.  One thing I've learned hands down is that if we wait to see it before we believe it, we may never see it....but if we BELIEVE it, we have a much better chance of seeing it.  


WARNING: buckets full of faith, patience and the ability to hold the desire while letting go of how it transpires, will be required.



Peace, Love and Believe to See It

Life is our mirror, we need not be afraid to look at our own reflection.  

I've just recently experienced a bout of great insecurity, fear and vulnerability.  Again.  It's all been on an inner level. This stuff comes in waves and is a part of being human.  I've noticed these uncontrollable times usually precede yet another shift in my life.  To one of a stronger version of myself.

I am the only one aware of my true inner self.  And you are the only one aware of your true inner self.  I find it interesting to observe my feelings and reactions (interesting, not necessarily comfortable!).  In the end, I think that's the way we heal ourselves and keep moving toward being a stronger, better version of us.

It's not an easy or pleasant experience at times, this journey as a soul in a human body, that's for sure.  For me it continues to be well worth going to those uncomfortable places within myself in order to learn more self acceptance and take 100% responsibility for where I am in my emotional maturity.  The more I practice this, the more I have become more compassionate and tolerant of others.

I find it interesting as well, how we seem to be able to look at others and see their obvious greatness and gifts, when others seem blind to it.  The mirror works that way too.  Seeing the best in others means on some level we see our own best, even when we aren't totally aware of it.  It used to trigger me so bad when other people, through my eyes were amazing at what they did, but weren't owning their awesomeness, but that's because on some level I wasn't owning MINE!  

We humans tend to look outside ourselves for answers when in fact looking within,  accepting and taking responsibility for our own shortcomings eventually brings us to a place of accepting the shortcomings of others.  It's like an old parlor trick this life of ours, smoke and mirrors.

As I move through the waves of uncomfortable feelings of great insecurity, fear and vulnerability, I'm learning to have compassion for myself as opposed to being angry with myself or worse, fighting those feelings.  I really do know that the feelings aren't my enemy, they are my ally.  They surface to help me understand and accept all parts of myself.  Shadow and light.  If I can accept the shadow in me, I can easily accept others for how they are.

Every one of us have different issues that continue to surface and will continue to surface until we can be honest with ourselves and take 100% responsibility for what takes place on our inner landscape.  What we resist persists, so the sooner we're willing to take time, and get to know our true selves, the things we continue to resist, stop surfacing.  Once again it's a process and it takes dedication and patience and a willingness to stop fighting the uncomfortable feelings, and just feel them. 

I use the world outside myself now as a gauge for my inner world. It's taken years of practice but it's been worth the effort so far. If I am angry at someone or something, I ask myself 'where inside yourself are you angry with yourself Barb?' ..... or if I find myself passing judgement on another, I ask myself 'where inside yourself are you still judging yourself Barb?' ..... or if I find myself wanting to place blame on another, I ask myself 'where inside yourself are you still unable to forgive yourself Barb?'  Using this method, for me, has been and continues to be truly transforming.  

Taking time to get quiet and go within is a great tool and keeps us connected to our higher selves.  I think it's important in this day and age where distraction is a constant temptation.  It's in that quiet place where we can nurture those hurt parts and learn to love the parts that we've spent far too much energy denying.  

I can't do it for you, and you can't do it for me....and maybe you don't wanna do it at all, and that's okay too!!   

Peace, Love and Know Thyself

I like to look at things from a higher perspective, a soul or spiritual perspective you could say.  Always aware of a bigger picture, that I am a soul, in a body, on a planet, along with billions of other souls in bodies, surrounded by planets and trillions of stars and all that makes up the universe.  I chose this mission.

Since I was a young girl, I have been concerned for the planet.  I guess my soul knew that I chose to come here to help, but it would be decades later and only after years of personal struggle before things 'clicked'.  I even remember my very young self thinking 'this place is a polluted mess! and people are bringing more kids into this world?'.  I decided young that I would not be bringing children into the world I saw.  I didn't think it would be fair because I wasn't sure what shape it would be in by the time they grew up, not to mention the children I was aware of who weren't being looked after.

Fast forward to now.  This exciting time on Earth!  People rising up in the streets saying enough is ENOUGH.  I swear I have been waiting my whole life for this time and my soul is on fire.  Seriously.  I try not to get bogged down with the negative words of the nay sayers and the haters.  I know they're scared.  Change must come now and that's always scary for people.

We humans have lost our way.  Our priorities have become about money and stuff, and while I agree we have to survive, we really can learn to live simpler lives and find alternative solutions.  In fact, I think our future depends on it.  

The Indigenous people from the many Nations on our planet, have always been aware that this time would come.  The prophecies are many and all speak of this time.  They have been passed down from generation to generation orally, as this is the traditional way.  While each prophecy varies in some way, they all speak of this time of great change on Earth.

From a spiritual perspective, I believe our souls chose to come here for this time of great change.  No small undertaking.  The issues we face are many, but one or two for sure, speak to our souls and it's time to take a stand for whatever that is for us.  For some, like myself, it's Mother Earth, our animal friends and the next generations. For some it's about our food being poisoned and manipulated, for some it's about the chemicals the government sprays into our environment to make us sick, for some it's gun laws, for some it's animal rights, for some it's the 'legal' drug industry, for some it's war, for some it's violation of another human, for some it's our failing government systems, and the list goes on.  It's whatever triggers you on a personal level.

The truths that have been hidden for so long, are coming to the surface as the truth always does.  It's hard sometimes to decipher what is the truth from what is manipulation but if you listen with your soul, you will know.  It seems easier to bury our heads in the sand than to stand up and actually do our part in some way.  I believe the souls who have come here to change the world are the strongest of the strong, otherwise we wouldn't be here.  Standing up for what we passionately believe in for the highest good of ALL will have us meeting with opposition and ignorance in many cases.  One could get exhausted in the attempt to persuade closed minded people in hopes of making them understand our personal point of view.  But this isn't about being 'right'.  It's about prophecy.  It's about Mother Earth.  It's about the promise we made to carry out our soul's purpose here. It's time.

It appears to me like a proverbial large can of worms has now been opened and there's not much chance of putting those worms back in the can at this point!  Personally I'm celebrating in this uprising energy.  My heart beats a little faster everytime I see and take part in the gathering of brother and sister warrior souls who all share the same basic hope.....a better world.  A world where we can drink clean water and pick medicine from the land, a world where we can roam freely, a world where every child is safe and protected, a world that our every move is not dictated and manipulated by governments, a world where we share, a world where no mouth is hungry and no person is homeless.  If I didn't believe a world like this could exist eventually, I wouldn't be here.

We have not been taught 'real' history of events, in this country at least.  I got kicked out of history class because I asked too many questions.  What I was being 'taught' just wasn't sitting right with me and as it turns out my intuition was spot on.  Can you imagine if Canadian and American history books taught the real history?  Genocide?  Civilizing the savages?  Once again, not in their best interest.  Since the Idle No More grassroots movement began, I have seen the beauty, proud people gathering in the streets peacefully, many dressed in traditional regalia, drumming and singing songs that many have never heard, and dancing.  I have also seen many hateful and racist comments about 'Indians' and that makes me sad.  If people would take time to ask questions and learn instead of making assumptions or repeating things they've learned from their parents, an understanding could take place and from understanding comes compassion, and from compassion we can find solutions.  We need to look back at where we all came from in order to move toward positive change.  

All leadership on all levels needs to be held accountable to the people now.  Business as usual is a thing of the past.  

This mess, as I like to refer to it, isn't going to get cleaned up overnight.  This is just the beginning of something that isn't going to go away.  The Idle No More movement is probably the most wide spread uprising in the history of this planet.  Humans are being divided now, but I think it's in a good way.  The caretakers of the Earth are now standing together as one, and more are joining by the day.  We come in all shapes, sizes and colours but the outside is not important, we recognize each others souls and we have a common purpose.  That's some powerful stuff! 
 
Thanks for reading....stay peaceful and pray for the angry ones....great things are ahead.

What speaks to your soul?

Peace, Love and Prophecy

This drawing was channeled through me last year when I was made aware of the issue of Enbridge shipping oil through the Pacific Northwest.  It feels fitting to share on this blog.

TRUTH and RESPONSIBILITY ~ Babs 2012
We are connected to all things on Mother Earth….our souls know the truth of why we came here. There is a song in our hearts – a promise we made – to be caretakers of the Earth. It is time to look into our hearts and remember our song and take responsibility for her well being in honor of the next generation. Creator and the Ancestors offer assistance and guidance and are watching closely. Be truthful, speak from your heart and always do what's best for all.