We are 100% responsible for every choice and decision we make. Period. Sometimes we make choices that end up hurting ourselves and others. And that's okay. We're human. I think that's how we learn and grow into better people.
Sometimes we feel stuck and don't feel we even have a choice but if we look further we will find there is always another option. It may not be a comfortable or easy choice but it's there.
Usually as we are making choices that end up hurting ourselves or others, there's a voice or feeling inside whispering to us making us aware that we may not end up liking the consequences of that choice. We end up feeling bad and even hating ourselves for awhile (or longer) as a result. Or, if we aren't ready to take responsibility for our choices yet, we will find ourselves complaining or blaming others or situations for the outcome.
I know from my own personal experience that coming to a place of being able to take responsibility for my choices has been empowering beyond belief. I have often ignored that gut instinct that is there to protect me from hurting myself and others, and I chose to place blame. It seemed far easier at the time than taking responsibility! In the end though, it wasn't easier because it kept me playing the victim. Poor me. Well, no more.
Since I've learned to take responsibility for my life, I've become more aware on a constant basis, of the fact that I am choosing what is healthy for me and what isn't. This doesn't mean life is perfect or I am now where I want to be as a person, but it does mean I'm no longer angry with others or situations that were a result of my choices. When we place blame in that respect and find ourselves angry about the consequences, it is usually a reflection of how angry we actually are at ourselves for making a 'bad' choice.
Taking responsibility for choices that have ended with less than desirable results, isn't about beating ourselves up over it (although it's sometimes part of our process), it's about seeing the opportunity to have compassion for ourselves through self forgiveness and making healthier choices next time. On and on it goes for the rest of our time here. Remembering that people and situations come into our lives to show us ourselves also helps.
Some questions you might want to ask yourself are:
Where am I placing blame in my life when it's actually a result of my own choices?
What choices am I making or have I made that I need to take responsibility for?
Where am I playing the victim in my life?
What do I hear myself complaining about and do I have the power to make a different choice that might change the result?
I think there will always be things in our past that we are not proud of but we can't undo what's been done. We can only do better once we know better and make a pact with ourselves to make healthier choices from now on.
Peace, Love and Choices