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  Barb Cote

blog:

It is my sincere hope that sharing my perspective and personal experiences on my own journey to myself, helps you on yours.

LIFE, DEATH and HOPE

29/4/2013

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I believe there is hope, even when we face death and loss.
I believe we’ve chosen this path to walk.
I believe we are not our bodies, I believe we are souls having a human experience.
I believe we've chosen to experience being human here and now which means death and loss of any kind is an inevitable part of that experience.
I believe we can experience the seasons in our lives much like we experience a rainbow after it rains or a leaf die where a bud appeared at one time.
I believe when we experience a person, animal or any living thing die, we are being shown that eventually something new will takes it’s place.
I believe that life moves in cycles.  A baby is born, a new opportunity appears.
One soul transitions to the next stage, making room for another.

I believe our souls choose to leave the earth plane when they do. I believe they never really 'die' they simply transition out of their human form.  I believe they remain beside us after they transition and they always leave lessons for us to learn by.  I believe we need to allow ourselves to cry, grieve, and miss them, all the while knowing they are near and we will heal.  I believe we can talk to them and they can hear us. I believe they talk to us all the time through dreams, songs, and other signs.  I believe death exists to wake us up so we live our lives fully. I believe it gives us the opportunity to stop and ask ourselves why we are here and what is it that we’ve come to do?

We experience death and loss continuously throughout our lives.  It comes in many forms.  We lose or change jobs.  We break up with a partner or spouse.  Our children grow up and leave home.  We move to a new house, or a new town.  Our friends move away or drift from our lives.

Change, transition, death is inevitable.  It hurts for awhile that's for sure but it doesn't have to hurt forever. I think the feelings make us feel uncomfortable which gives us  the opportunity to soften, become more loving, and grow spiritually if we allow it.  

Each time we experience change we experience a death of something old, a loss, an old way of being, much like a snake sheds another layer of skin.  We must then allow ourselves a time of adjustment and to grieve what 'was'.  When we experience change and loss in the form of a 'tragedy' we can choose one of two roads.  We can grieve for the rest of our lives and assume the victim role OR we can take the time we need to grieve (as is a natural part of the death process), eventually accept it as it is, and honor those who've passed by living and using our lives to the fullest.  We can be open to receive the love offered to us by others as we move through our difficult time.  We can learn to begin to question and find what fills us up.  To find what truly brings us joy in our hearts, or we can cry for the rest of our lives.

When we begin to question why we’re here, we find the answer in part, has to do with us having a purpose and our own unique gifts to share with the world.  To hide our gifts, our light, hurts us.  To let it shine, not only helps us, but it gives permission to others to find and shine their own light.  I believe it's part of the Creator’s grand plan.

I believe if we learn to forgive ourselves and others it will free us from carrying around the weight of past burdens....it doesn't mean we forgive the actions of another or that we hang out for coffee, it means we acknowledge that all humans have a shadow side (yes, even you and me!) and make poor choices.  Forgiving that part of them frees a place in our own heart for more love to get in.  Carrying it around only hurts us.

I believe when I look in the mirror that I'm the only one that sees what I see.
I believe our lives are a gift.
I believe stress and struggle continue for those who remain in the victim role and at a distance from Spirit.
I believe if we learn from our mistakes we don’t have to repeat the pain of the same lesson over and over again.
I believe life puts the same circumstance in front of us until we ‘get it’.
I believe if you want change, you have to change.
I believe listening and following our intuition, and trusting our ‘gut’ feeling means we're working together with the Universe/Creator/God/Source for the highest good.
I believe we need to listen to our hearts and not let the fear in our heads try to talk us out of how we feel.  
I believe in being generous with ourselves and others.
I believe we benefit greatly by learning to have compassion for ourselves and others as we walk this earth walk.

We entered into this life with nothing material and we will leave this life with nothing material.  When our souls are ready to transition to spirit and leave our human vessels behind, that we can only take what is in our hearts.  I believe we need to find who we 'really' are at our core.  We are not our job title, our bank balance, and our 'stuff'.  I believe none of these things determines who we are.  I believe we are deserving and worth a happy life despite our past.  I believe in second chances.

Sometimes when it all feels like too much, I get quiet and remind myself that I am a soul in a body, with seven billion other souls in bodies, spinning around on a giant rock in a vast universe.  That perspective doesn't have me singing and dancing right away, but it does bring me closer to something greater than me, and that always gives me hope.

I believe we can live the life we dream about, if we choose hope over hopelessness.

Peace, Love and Hope


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RESPECTING OUR MOTHER

22/4/2013

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When I was a young girl (that would be many, many moons ago now) I remember how I saw the world and our planet.  I can remember feeling quite hopeless actually in seeing very clearly that the humans were destroying the Earth.  I thought what's the point?! You've destroyed her!  Why am I in this place of destruction, pollution and disrespect, where people abuse the Earth, themselves and each other?  I felt like all this talk about God made no sense to me.  How could there be such thing as a 'God' that would have allowed this kind of abuse?  I also made a very interesting decision at that very young age, which was not to bring children into this world.  I felt VERY hopeless and angry.

Looking back now, I understand my soul's path and why that was my beginning, my wise soul knew why I was here but the human part of me needed to walk a very long road in order to be more aligned with my soul.  As we all do.  I love Mother Earth so much, and I'm passionate about her well-being and I needed to find my own way to my personal belief system, through those years of struggle.  What followed for many years was me being disconnected from a higher power, which resulted in my feeling so very alone and choosing to numb myself which rendered me powerless.

It's only been in the past ten years that I've found my faith and my path and a belief in what I call Creator.  It has only been since I've found that relationship with Spirit, and strengthened my personal connection with a higher power, that I have found purpose and clarity in my life, and hope.   I can see now why I felt so protective of Mother Earth back then, because as an adult, I would be using a gift I never fully understood until now. Giving a voice to her and the animals, birds and insects through my drawings.  I understand now that we're all a part of our Creator and I believe our souls chose to be here on this planet, at this very time, to clean up our mess.  I say 'our' because I think every single one of us has to take responsibility for how we've contributed and continue to contribute to the current way of the world. 

Mother Earth sustains us.  But we humans seem to have forgotten this.  We take her for granted every day, fully expecting water to come out of a tap, and a light to appear when we flip a switch.  While I have personally struggled as I've observed the ongoing destruction and disrespect toward her for my entire life, I finally have hope. Which is kind of interesting as she is in worse shape now than when I was a young girl.  

We humans are actually waking up, becoming more aware, and taking action which is what gives me hope.  The truth continues to surface daily with respect the trickery and greed in this world which I think is great because it means we can no longer ignore what is actually happening.  People are speaking out to give the Earth a voice and that gives me hope.  We are recycling and using more user friendly cleaning products, we are conserving energy and attempting to find more eco friendly energy using what she freely provides to us, wind, water, and sun. More hope.

I think sometimes we feel small, like how can one person make a difference to make a change this HUGE?  Turning a planet around.  Cleaning up our mess.  I think it's possible though, and more than that it's a must if we wish to leave something for the generations to come.  I also think that if we are here, on this planet now, we came here to do this.  No one is coming to save us.  We have to save ourselves.

If everyone takes the time to pick up some garbage, turn off the lights when they are not needed, turn down the heat in our homes during the day when the house is empty, turn off the water when we're brushing our teeth, takes the time to recycle, doesn't leave vehicles running, takes the bus, rides a bike, car pools when possible, buys used items, lives communally, and uses natural cleaning products, it will all add up and we become less of a burden.  Our power is in the collective and if we all do a little something we can and will eventually make a big difference.  Our future actually depends on it.

There's a healing energy simply in acknowledging what she provides for us, instead of taking it for granted.  We can show gratitude by being thankful to her for our breath, and for clean water to drink (which is being poisoned at alarming rates), warm showers, lights, heat, food, the ability to travel, and her breathtaking beauty.  I give thanks to her daily and that might not seem like much but it's something.  

While things aren't ideal just yet, at least there is hope on the horizon.  I sometimes wonder how a young boy or girl sees the world now, if I saw what I saw all those years ago.  Do they have hope? Or were they like me at that age, seeing how the humans that came before them destroyed our beautiful home and wonder 'what's the point'?  

Either way, they are who we leave this planet to and the generations after them.  Let's keep doing our part and honoring our Mother so they have more hope for the planet than I did as a kid.  Let's give them a seat at the tables where decisions are being made that ultimately affect them and their future.  Let's listen to them.

Peace, Love and Respect Your Mother

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LET IT BE...EVERYTHING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FIGURED OUT or FIXED

15/4/2013

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"Freedom from the desire for answers is essential to the understanding of a problem." ~  Jiddu Krishnamurti

Have you ever caught yourself going over a scenario in your head repeatedly trying to figure it out but no matter which way you look at it, you never get answers?  Me too.  I have.  It's a human thing but we can choose to change it if we want.

Sometimes we humans paralyze ourselves by staying in our heads analyzing and attempting to find answers to things that are simply not meant for us to know yet. We can't force a baby bird out of an egg or a leaf out of a bud.  We just gotta let it be and unfold in it's own time while we mosy off to do something productive.  

I used to have severe anxiety attacks where I'd faint and my lips would turn blue.  Anxiety is when we are in our heads trying to figure things out and wonder what is going to happen, so much in fact, that our breathing becomes shallow enough that we get weak and dizzy and sometimes faint.  I've learned over the years, to practice accepting what IS, and as a result am able to live in the moment more and more every day, which has my anxiety pretty much non-existent.  I will sometimes observe it mildly surfacing when life pulls the rug out from underneath me but nothing some deep breathing and acceptance work doesn't fix.

The time we humans spend trying to figure everything out actually robs us of living a more present life.  It has us missing what is really going on.  We're using all that energy going around and around in our heads aimlessly, never finding a solution anyway?!!  Wasted days and wasted nights (yes, I sang that).  It seems we're either crying over something that's behind us, or freaking out about what's before us.  What about right now?  What about today?  Do you see the ladybug or the blue jay?  Do you hear the music?  Can you smell the flowers?  Maybe you don't have time because you have to get back to figuring everything out and making a plan to fix what isn't meant to be fixed right now?

Usually taking a step back from the analyzing process, allows an answer to come in time.  Obsessing usually pushes the answer or desired outcome further away from us. The 'letting go' process is definitely a learned thing.  Like everything we want to master, we can only get there by practicing.  We must first acknowledge when we are obsessing and over analyzing.  Then from that point, we can CHOOSE to stop, accept everything and everyone exactly as is, and then CHOOSE to put our energy into ourselves or a creative project, or choose a thought of gratitude instead?  Or choose to send an uplifting thought that person's way or to someone who is going through a hard time. Or choose to talk to Creator, the angels or our spirit guides.  

Maybe a relationship has fallen away for whatever reason.  It happens.  There are people in my life who had to sever ties with close family members because they loved themselves too much to continue feeling hurt.  Sometimes that's the lesson.  We don't always have to figure out and fix everything.  We really can choose to just let it be or even let it go completely.  Guilt free.  Worry free.  Some relationships aren't meant to be 'figured out' or 'fixed' right now. We can let ourselves off the hook and let it be!  We can give ourselves the time and distance we need.  Finding inner peace and forgiveness is the main thing, and sometimes we have to take time and space to do that.  It's okay.  We are only in control of ourselves and our own actions.  If we want to fix something, why not make ourselves our own fix it project ;-)  I've found no lack of things within myself to work on! 

It's quite freeing and empowering to choose to just let things be perfectly unfixed, and choose who we allow in our life and not feel bad for making those choices. Surrendering to what IS.  I'll admit, for me, this feeling of not worrying or constantly analyzing and wondering how things are going to turn out, feels amazing yet at times unfamiliar.  I observe my ego wanting me to slip back into my old familiar ways.  I remind myself in those moments that everything is just as it is and it's not up to me to figure everything out and fix what clearly is not fixable or doable right now.  Surrendering makes room for an answer to come and for us to enjoy the journey more.  :-)

Peace, Love and Let It Be .....

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CHOICES

8/4/2013

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We are 100% responsible for every choice and decision we make.  Period.  Sometimes we make choices that end up hurting ourselves and others.  And that's okay.  We're human.  I think that's how we learn and grow into better people.

Sometimes we feel stuck and don't feel we even have a choice but if we look further we will find there is always another option.  It may not be a comfortable or easy choice but it's there. 

Usually as we are making choices that end up hurting ourselves or others, there's a voice or feeling inside whispering to us making us aware that we may not end up liking the consequences of that choice.  We end up feeling bad and even hating ourselves for awhile (or longer) as a result.  Or, if we aren't ready to take responsibility for our choices yet, we will find ourselves complaining or blaming others or situations for the outcome. 

I know from my own personal experience that coming to a place of being able to take responsibility for my choices has been empowering beyond belief.  I have often ignored that gut instinct that is there to protect me from hurting myself and others, and I chose to place blame.  It seemed far easier at the time than taking responsibility!  In the end though, it wasn't easier because it kept me playing the victim.  Poor me.  Well, no more.

Since I've learned to take responsibility for my life, I've become more aware on a constant basis, of the fact that I am choosing what is healthy for me and what isn't.  This doesn't mean life is perfect or I am now where I want to be as a person, but it does mean I'm no longer angry with others or situations that were a result of my choices.  When we place blame in that respect and find ourselves angry about the consequences, it is usually a reflection of how angry we actually are at ourselves for making a 'bad' choice.

Taking responsibility for choices that have ended with less than desirable results, isn't about beating ourselves up over it (although it's sometimes part of our process), it's about seeing the opportunity to have compassion for ourselves through self forgiveness and making healthier choices next time.  On and on it goes for the rest of our time here.  Remembering that people and situations come into our lives to show us ourselves also helps.

Some questions you might want to ask yourself are:

Where am I placing blame in my life when it's actually a result of my own choices?
What choices am I making or have I made that I need to take responsibility for?
Where am I playing the victim in my life?
What do I hear myself complaining about and do I have the power to make a different choice that might change the result?

I think there will always be things in our past that we are not proud of but we can't undo what's been done.  We can only do better once we know better and make a pact with ourselves to make healthier choices from now on. 

Peace, Love and Choices

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