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  Barb Cote

blog:

It is my sincere hope that sharing my perspective and personal experiences on my own journey to myself, helps you on yours.

MERCURY RETROGRADE....FRIEND OR FOE?

25/2/2013

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Re-Post:   Mercury has just gone retrograde again (February 23rd) and will remain so until March 17th....here's a reminder about the energies this cycle brings and how to use it in your life if you so choose :-))  

‘That’s not fog.  It’s dragon’s breath.  It’s magical.  When the dragon’s breath comes, when the fog appears, it is a magical time, a mysterious time.  Things begin to change.’  ~ The Lessons of Love by Melody Beattie

I’ve been working with the moon cycles and this cycle called Mercury retrograde for quite some time now and have found that life has become easier because I am aware of, and use the energy of these cycles for my personal growth.  Let me say first off that I have a basic understanding of Astrology, I am not an Astrologer, and it’s not my intention to make believers out of those of you who have no belief or interest in this stuff.  I’m simply sharing my knowledge and personal experience for those of you who are interested in the unseen energies that move in and around us constantly.  They can be very helpful for personal growth and awareness.  As above, so below.

Much like the description in the lead-in quote above, Mercury retrograde energy can feel at times, like a fog has set in on our lives.  If we can understand and accept that change is in the air and magic is happening behind the fog, we can easier move through the fog with patience and in anticipation of a time in the future when the fog lifts and things are clear and flowing once again.

There are three to four Mercury retrograde cycles per year and they last approximately three weeks.  There’s a shadow period for days before and after the actual retrograde period when the energies are felt, just not as strongly as during the actual retrograde. 

The planet Mercury in general, rules thinking and perception, processing information, education, travel and communication.  So when it goes retrograde, it often affects these areas of our lives.  For instance, we might notice more than usual, missed messages, misunderstandings, text messages and emails send to the wrong person, taken out of context, or not being received at all.  As well there’s  often travel mix ups and delays, problems with computers, cell phones, tv’s, and vehicles.  You might also notice situations, people and issues from the past resurfacing.  Especially notice what was happening in your life during the last Mercury retrograde because whatever was going on in your life at that time, will likely resurface in some form so you can face that part of yourself again and continue to clear old unhealthy patterns.  Sometimes it's so you can see yourself in a new light and see how you've grown since the last retrograde.

It can be a frustrating time for some people, especially if you are not willing to be honest with yourself and make necessary changes in your life, or if you are pushing and trying to make something happen when it's not time for it to happen.  It could be that your flight gets delayed or cancelled, you buy a new cell phone and it’s a total dud, or your computer crashes.  Basically it’s life not going according to ‘your’ plans.  Try to remember something bigger is happening behind the scenes and you are ultimately not in charge even though you think you are! 

This is not a time to make firm decisions, move forward on projects or plans, or sign legal documents or contracts. It can feel at times like we are pushing against a strong wind, so why not wait until the planet moves forward again, and have the wind CARRY us instead?   When we insist on pushing forward at this time, we will often find out later that the paperwork couldn’t be completed because of some unforeseen circumstances, the contract or deal falls through, or new information is revealed that might have been important in our decision making process.  It is also not a time to purchase a vehicle or electronic equipment of any kind as there are often issues that surface later with respect to that equipment or vehicle or it could be we just get a dud.

The best way to use this retrograde phase is to research a new project, or work on unfinished projects, reflect on life and recent situations, revise, review, relax, renegotiate a contract or situation, go back over old ground, clear out the old things (personal patterns that aren't working anymore, emails, computer files, paperwork, closets, garage, vehicle) that no longer serve you in order to free up energetic space for the new to come in.  

New information is often revealed to us by the end of this cycle, as there is likely something more to learn or release before moving forward on our path.  People from our past will often times surface at this time.  It’s a great practice to back up our computers before Mercury retrograde!  Confirm travel itineraries prior to travelling and do be prepared to be patient should your travel end up cancelled or delayed.  I’ve learned to roll with the travel delays over the years…I used to be SO anal!!  Now I understand the universe can see ten steps ahead of me and I watch for new people I might meet or circumstances that transpire that I might have missed due to the delay.  Maybe it’s there to teach us patience, maybe it’s there to save our ass.  It’s best to trust those delays.

Personally I love Mercury retrograde!!  I used to dread it when I owned and ran a travel agency though!  Yikes.  Although having an understanding of the energies of this cycle and keeping a sense of humor helped!  When wires got crossed or computer systems went wonky, I could find some humor in it knowing full well that Mercury was behind it!  Now I use this time to reflect, do a life review, watch what old stuff is coming up for me emotionally, and I put my energy into researching new projects or pulling out old unfinished projects.  I also clean out old emails and outdated files on my computer.   I am simply aware, and do a lot of deep breathing and practicing patience, all the while knowing full well that clarity and a time to take action awaits.

So?  Mercury Retrograde, friend or foe?  You decide.

Peace, Love and Mercury

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WE ARE NOT OUR MISTAKES

18/2/2013

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I think two of the most powerful words in the english language put together are I AM.  

We humans have this tendency to put negative words behind those two words.  I AM a loser.  I AM not good enough.  I AM broke.  I AM fat.  I have caught myself over and over again over the years doing it.  Mostly unaware when I was doing it.  Now that I'm conscious of my thoughts, I'm able to catch myself and practice putting positive words behind those two words.  :-)  Yes, I said practice.  Seems the saying practice makes perfect leaves the perfect as some amazing place in which we arrive one day.  My experience is there is no such thing as perfect so the emphasis best be placed on 'practice'. 
 
I AM amazing.  I AM enough.  I AM where I am and that's ok.  I AM smart.  I AM different.  I AM confident.  Changing the words we put behind the I AM has the power to transform our lives from one of self loathing and judgement, to one of self love.  Eventually.  After aLOT of practice!

So many of us walk through life thinking that we can never really live our dreams or be all we can be because we've made these huge 'mistakes' in our past.  I believe the words mistake and sin fall into the same category but many have been taught that to 'sin' is unforgiveable and punishable, yet I believe all the souls here in human form have come to learn and evolve and if we never made mistakes or sinned we would not be experiencing an opportunity to grow.  We feel because of our past actions, we are not worthy of good things in life because we're now such a horrible person.  This isn't true and couldn't be further from the truth! 

I think the ironic part is that part of the human earth life experience is to make 'mistakes'!!!  This is how we learn and teach others.  It's part of the deal. If we cruised through life being all perfect (there's that darn word again) then we wouldn't actually be 'experiencing' life in order to become more wise.  

The trick is to know we are forgiven for whatever we think we've done that's so so so horrible!  Some people's 'mistakes' are huge in society's eyes.  Some people steal some people assault others, some people have deep dark addictions, some commit adultery, and some people kill people.  I don't believe we are judged for our 'mistakes', I believe we are judged by what we 'learn' from our mistakes.  Maybe part of your purpose is to teach criminals about turning their lives around?  If that's the case, then wouldn't you have to become a criminal first?? (which would look from the outside in, as a HUGE unforgivable mistake)?  If you're a goody two shoes and haven't done time and rehabilitated, what criminal would listen to you??  A criminal would listen to a reformed criminal before he's going to listen to some guy who's got no life experience!!  Catch my drift ;-)  

You can apply this scenario to some past 'mistake' you feel you made.  Maybe you are meant to realize that you are not meant to carry shame and guilt the rest of your life, maybe you are meant to actually experience making that mistake then get up, dust yourself off (by forgiving yourself) and taking the high road.  Understanding that you are NOT what you've done in your past, you truly are what you have overcome.  

I've made many so called mistakes but I've chosen to learn from them and change my life so they move from being 'mistakes' to 'lessons'.  Seems so many get stuck in the guilt and shame phase of the process and stay there for the rest of their lives, choosing to 'numb' themselves in various ways.  It's never too late to face ourselves and face up to our past.  Look it straight in the eyes and say hey, I messed up bad. Am I willing to put this behind me?  If we aren't ready to face our 'mistakes', we can start with just the 'willingness' to do so.  Being willing, opens a door to new possibilities for ourselves and the process can begin.
 
Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  Am I willing to forgive myself and do the best I can from this day forward? How am I going to use this experience to become a stronger and better person? How can I use my life and lessons to help other people!!  

No one said this life was easy, but we all signed up for it and here we are.  So let's stop judging ourselves for what we've 'done', so we can stop judging others for what they've 'done'.  I don't have the priviledge to see life's big picture and neither do you.  Creator, Universe, God, Source or whatever you call all that is, can see the truth so we're off the hook taking on the role of Judge.  Whatever is between that person's soul and Creator, is between them. 

Let's take responsibility for our past actions and our future actions....and choose to overcome.  On a soul level we are experiencing life on life's terms and we aren't always aware of what our soul agreed to come here to do.  Lets allow ourselves to forgive ourselves, wipe the slate clean and start over, no matter how unforgiveable we may think our past actions may be!  If we stay in a state of unforgiveness toward ourselves for the rest of our lives, we waste our potential to truly live the life we were meant to live.  

Peace, Love and Mistakes


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DENIAL (D-on't E-ven N-otice I A-m L-ying)

11/2/2013

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D-on't E-ven N-otice I A-m L-ying (to myself)

Denial is one of our built in protective mechanisms.  I think all of our emotions and reactions are there for us to use sometimes in order to cope and make our way through life when things are too much to face.  Denial comes in handy when something feels to painful to look at or process, or when we are afraid to see certain truths.  Being in denial works for us in times where we do not feel strong enough to see and face the truth of what is, but staying there for too long can wreak havoc for us.  Denial creating havoc in our lives will always appear as pain.  Usually when the universe is urging change in our lives for our highest good, we can remain in the energy of resistance by way of denial.  Lying to ourselves about the truth that our highest self is always aware of, but our human side is too afraid to face.

When we embrace our denial and quiet that voice inside that doesn't want to be truly honest about what is 'really' going on, because we are afraid of the changes we 'know' we must make, we are honoring ourselves and our soul's path. 

Denial can come in the form of not wanting to look at whether our spouse is loyal, whether we are settling for less than we deserve, whether we are chronically addicted to certain people or behavior, whether we are dying, whether we are treating others badly, whether we are needing to leave a relationship that isn't working for us, whether we need to get healthy, and the list goes on and on.

Our place of power is always in the present moment so the sooner we are willing to look at what we don't want to look at, the sooner we see the choices available to us so we can make healthy changes in our lives.

We humans will tell ourselves all kinds of stories to avoid self awareness, and the pain that must surface in order to be felt (we gotta feel it to heal it), so the old and worn patterns and pain can finally fall away.

Through this process (and everything is a process) we eventually free ourselves from situations that bring us unhappiness, to make room for a better version of ourselves and more fulfilling situations to enter our lives.

Letting go of denial allows us to speak truth to ourselves in the form of 'I am afraid', 'I am lost', 'I am confused', 'I am unhappy', 'I am an alcoholic, workaholic, sexaholic, etc)', 'I am mean', 'I am angry', 'I am hurting myself', 'I am playing the victim', 'I am unfulfilled in my life', 'I am a control freak', 'I hate myself', 'I am a martyr', etc., etc., etc.  We are not to face ourselves by judging and criticizing ourselves once we are out of denial, we are simply admitting our truth to ourselves, and from a place of truth only good can come and change can happen. 

Not everyone is ready to face themselves and some will never be ready, but if we are wanting to live our best life and become the best version of ourselves, looking at where we are in denial in our lives is a great start!

"This above all, to thine own self be true" ~ Shakespeare

Peace, Love and Denial


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HURTING OTHERS  FROM A PLACE OF PAIN 

4/2/2013

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We've all hurt others at one time or another in our lives, and we've also felt hurt by others in our lives at one time or another.

If we can understand that we humans act, at times, from a place of our own pain, we can eventually understand compassion for some people's hurtful actions.  This is where the teaching comes in about taking nothing that others do, personally.  It's a hard one to get one's head wrapped around, especially when w have felt so deeply hurt by the actions of another.  We can even take it to the extreme acts of abuse and even murder if we can open our minds that far.  A person who abuses another phsically, emotionally or even sexually, I believe has very deep, unhealed pain from past experiences.  Often times having experienced traumatic, even what we'd consider horrific events in their childhood or younger life.

This kind of pain experienced, can cause a closing of heart and emotions, a built in mechanism of human self protection.  If we've been hurt, and we harden and be mean, no one will or can get close enough to hurt us again.  The meaner the better actually.  Pain that is deep rooted and never looked at or dealt with, can surface in unspeakable ways.  All we have to do is look around this crazy world to see the evidence of this..  The anger, the hurt, the pain coming out in the form of abuse, hate, anger, destruction, killing, etc.

I think that many people will not heal their pain in this lifetime and many people will.  We only have power over our own lives and no one else's.  Our power lies within and it's never too late to make a fresh start.  Our power is always in the now.

When we have a willingness to look in those dark, scary places of our own pain and take responsibility for our own unhealed pain, and the pain we've caused others as a result, forgiveness can eventually happen.  Self forgiveness thus the forgiveness of others.  I've found for me, self forgiveness has had to come first, and as that journey unfolds, the old layers of feeling bad for past actions comes up, a feeling compassion for everyone else's place of pain and the hurt they may cause others from that place, can be understood.  We have not walked that person's journey or experienced their pain and they have not walked mine.  Understanding, compassion and forgiveness doesn't mean we gotta hang out with those we've felt hurt by, it means freeing ourselves from holding on to the resentment that's ultimately hurting US.  I pray for them to find their way, continue to work on my own 'stuff', and surround myself with people who lift me up and continue honoring my own healing journey.

I'm sharing a guided meditation from youtube that I listen to when I feel the need and it's totally helped me ALOT.  If you dare to listen, it may bring up some uncomfortable feelings and even bring some tears, but that's where the healing is.

Thanks for reading.....I honor your journey.

Peace, Love and Healing

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