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  Barb Cote

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It is my sincere hope that sharing my perspective and personal experiences on my own journey to myself, helps you on yours.

DENIAL (D-on't E-ven N-otice I A-m L-ying)

11/2/2013

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D-on't E-ven N-otice I A-m L-ying (to myself)

Denial is one of our built in protective mechanisms.  I think all of our emotions and reactions are there for us to use sometimes in order to cope and make our way through life when things are too much to face.  Denial comes in handy when something feels to painful to look at or process, or when we are afraid to see certain truths.  Being in denial works for us in times where we do not feel strong enough to see and face the truth of what is, but staying there for too long can wreak havoc for us.  Denial creating havoc in our lives will always appear as pain.  Usually when the universe is urging change in our lives for our highest good, we can remain in the energy of resistance by way of denial.  Lying to ourselves about the truth that our highest self is always aware of, but our human side is too afraid to face.

When we embrace our denial and quiet that voice inside that doesn't want to be truly honest about what is 'really' going on, because we are afraid of the changes we 'know' we must make, we are honoring ourselves and our soul's path. 

Denial can come in the form of not wanting to look at whether our spouse is loyal, whether we are settling for less than we deserve, whether we are chronically addicted to certain people or behavior, whether we are dying, whether we are treating others badly, whether we are needing to leave a relationship that isn't working for us, whether we need to get healthy, and the list goes on and on.

Our place of power is always in the present moment so the sooner we are willing to look at what we don't want to look at, the sooner we see the choices available to us so we can make healthy changes in our lives.

We humans will tell ourselves all kinds of stories to avoid self awareness, and the pain that must surface in order to be felt (we gotta feel it to heal it), so the old and worn patterns and pain can finally fall away.

Through this process (and everything is a process) we eventually free ourselves from situations that bring us unhappiness, to make room for a better version of ourselves and more fulfilling situations to enter our lives.

Letting go of denial allows us to speak truth to ourselves in the form of 'I am afraid', 'I am lost', 'I am confused', 'I am unhappy', 'I am an alcoholic, workaholic, sexaholic, etc)', 'I am mean', 'I am angry', 'I am hurting myself', 'I am playing the victim', 'I am unfulfilled in my life', 'I am a control freak', 'I hate myself', 'I am a martyr', etc., etc., etc.  We are not to face ourselves by judging and criticizing ourselves once we are out of denial, we are simply admitting our truth to ourselves, and from a place of truth only good can come and change can happen. 

Not everyone is ready to face themselves and some will never be ready, but if we are wanting to live our best life and become the best version of ourselves, looking at where we are in denial in our lives is a great start!

"This above all, to thine own self be true" ~ Shakespeare

Peace, Love and Denial


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