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  Barb Cote

blog:

It is my sincere hope that sharing my perspective and personal experiences on my own journey to myself, helps you on yours.

HURTING OTHERS  FROM A PLACE OF PAIN 

4/2/2013

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We've all hurt others at one time or another in our lives, and we've also felt hurt by others in our lives at one time or another.

If we can understand that we humans act, at times, from a place of our own pain, we can eventually understand compassion for some people's hurtful actions.  This is where the teaching comes in about taking nothing that others do, personally.  It's a hard one to get one's head wrapped around, especially when w have felt so deeply hurt by the actions of another.  We can even take it to the extreme acts of abuse and even murder if we can open our minds that far.  A person who abuses another phsically, emotionally or even sexually, I believe has very deep, unhealed pain from past experiences.  Often times having experienced traumatic, even what we'd consider horrific events in their childhood or younger life.

This kind of pain experienced, can cause a closing of heart and emotions, a built in mechanism of human self protection.  If we've been hurt, and we harden and be mean, no one will or can get close enough to hurt us again.  The meaner the better actually.  Pain that is deep rooted and never looked at or dealt with, can surface in unspeakable ways.  All we have to do is look around this crazy world to see the evidence of this..  The anger, the hurt, the pain coming out in the form of abuse, hate, anger, destruction, killing, etc.

I think that many people will not heal their pain in this lifetime and many people will.  We only have power over our own lives and no one else's.  Our power lies within and it's never too late to make a fresh start.  Our power is always in the now.

When we have a willingness to look in those dark, scary places of our own pain and take responsibility for our own unhealed pain, and the pain we've caused others as a result, forgiveness can eventually happen.  Self forgiveness thus the forgiveness of others.  I've found for me, self forgiveness has had to come first, and as that journey unfolds, the old layers of feeling bad for past actions comes up, a feeling compassion for everyone else's place of pain and the hurt they may cause others from that place, can be understood.  We have not walked that person's journey or experienced their pain and they have not walked mine.  Understanding, compassion and forgiveness doesn't mean we gotta hang out with those we've felt hurt by, it means freeing ourselves from holding on to the resentment that's ultimately hurting US.  I pray for them to find their way, continue to work on my own 'stuff', and surround myself with people who lift me up and continue honoring my own healing journey.

I'm sharing a guided meditation from youtube that I listen to when I feel the need and it's totally helped me ALOT.  If you dare to listen, it may bring up some uncomfortable feelings and even bring some tears, but that's where the healing is.

Thanks for reading.....I honor your journey.

Peace, Love and Healing

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