Feeling Small and Insignificant

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by what is going on in the world? Does your soul nag at you, that you are here to help in some way, but you feel unready, unsure, or worse small and insignificant?  Do you wonder how you can use your life and your voice to contribute to the greater whole?  Do you feel afraid to speak your truth for fear of not being liked or approved of?  Do you know deep down you need to make changes to your life but you feel stuck and afraid? Or maybe you are so self absorbed that you aren't thinking about anything but yourself and how everything affects only you?  I've felt all of these things at different times.

I think somewhere inside each of us is a voice that is always whispering to us.  Sometimes we listen and sometimes we don't.  The voice is more like a scream at times, which for me has shown up as a deep sadness, a longing for something more, as well as a feeling of overwhelming urgency that I am here to do more than go through the motions of a life that society dictates as the 'norm'.  I have also felt challenged by my anger at humanity, our systems, and the state of imbalance on this planet.  Sometimes this has had me feeling quite small and insignificant.  Like what's a girl to do?  and who's gonna listen to me?

Since I've been purposely and knowingly walking my personal spiritual path, I've learned that when I feel overwhelmed and small, or triggered by anger at the state of our world, that the most productive thing I can do is have a chat with Creator.  It doesn't matter what name you call the energy that is bigger than us, it only matters that we acknowledge it (and if we don't that's our choice, but it's been my personal experience that without that acknowledgement, life is lived more in a state of struggle, than one of peace).  I've found that to express my anger, worries, sadness, and concerns and ask to be shown the way, relieves me of feeling small and that I am somehow carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.  After my chat (some would call prayer), I let go and wait for my guidance.  It always comes.  There's a flow, a process that begins to happen when one makes this a constant practice.  I believe our relationship to Spirit is our own personal, unique experience and I can only share my own.  I've learned to lean on this unseen energy, rather than choosing to be angry at it, or not believing it even exists (which was my experience for the first 35 years of my life as I called myself an Athiest).  To be angry that things don't look how we think they 'should', or are not happening our way or in the time frame we expect, is to stay stuck and frustrated, which is energy we could be using to do what we can to help turn things around so we can all live in a better world.

I've learned that my partnership with that something bigger than me, has given me strength and courage to the point where I don't recognize myself some days, and I certainly never feel alone.  I understand that I (and you) are an extension of that energy, here in human form on a mission to turn this world around. What we've come here to do on a personal level, can be found a couple of ways, one is by looking at what we have been through in our past and believing that we are meant to help others by having experienced and healed through those experiences.  By healing our past and becoming strong enough to share our story with others, is purpose in itself.  Secondly we can look at what we are passionate about.  It may be children, animals, our food sources, or the environment.  It's usually what makes us extremely sad, or pisses us off and fires us up!!  We think 'someone' needs to do something about this!!!  That someone is us. 

I believe we all have a purpose that is unique to us, and that our collective purpose is to turn this planet around.  I believe many humans are already awake to this and are actively living their purpose, and I believe some aren't awake yet are actively living their purpose on a soul level, I believe some are beginning to question their lives and why they are here, and I believe that some will not be waking up in this lifetime, and that's okay.  I see us crossing paths with other souls who are in alignment with us, which is creating groups of people who are on the same wave length.  And there is always power in numbers.

I've also learned that when I am aware of, and purposely using my life to help the greater whole in my own little way, that doors of opportunity open and the next steps appear quite magically. But when I've put myself and my fears, or personal gain first, nothing flows and I live in struggle.  I've learned that things move slower than I 'want', and I've learned patience on my path to purpose.

We can often experience that feeling of insignificance when we put pressure on ourselves to do something 'big' right now, today.  Peace comes with taking small steps towards a vision, which leads to more small steps until we are beginning to see progress on our path when we stop to look back.  It's a process and it doesn't have to be taken all heavily and seriously (something I've also learned the hard way!). 

I've learned that the most powerful thing I've ever done has been to commit to finding my true self and my soul's purpose.  That process has me knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am not working alone because I have experienced the help that is always readily available to me from Spirit.  To understand and live this, is to experience the most powerful relationship I've ever had. 

Once I moved past the anger and frustration in my life, and I committed to discovering myself, my happiness, and why I am here, the answers have been and continue to be slowly revealed.  When I was seeking answers PRIOR to making a commitment to myself and my purpose, I would find myself continuously frustrated and going in circles.

I think we all have a part to play and no part is more or less significant than another.  We will not find our part by comparing ourselves to others.  We will not find our part by denying our gifts.  We will not find our part by avoiding the changes we know we need to make in our lives.  We will not find our part by numbing ourselves with addictions.  We will not find our part in the longing, wishing, waiting, hoping for someone to come along and do it for us.  We will only find our part by making a commitment to knowing ourselves on a soul level, then being courageous enough to share our souls with others, in whatever way that is for us.  It may be through speaking, writing, story telling, music, poetry, art, dancing, praying, teaching, etc.  The main thing is that we no longer stay stuck in our old painful stories because we are afraid of our own authentic power.  

Peace, Love and Purpose

---