KNOW THYSELF

Life is our mirror, we need not be afraid to look at our own reflection.  

I've just recently experienced a bout of great insecurity, fear and vulnerability.  Again.  It's all been on an inner level. This stuff comes in waves and is a part of being human.  I've noticed these uncontrollable times usually precede yet another shift in my life.  To one of a stronger version of myself.

I am the only one aware of my true inner self.  And you are the only one aware of your true inner self.  I find it interesting to observe my feelings and reactions (interesting, not necessarily comfortable!).  In the end, I think that's the way we heal ourselves and keep moving toward being a stronger, better version of us.

It's not an easy or pleasant experience at times, this journey as a soul in a human body, that's for sure.  For me it continues to be well worth going to those uncomfortable places within myself in order to learn more self acceptance and take 100% responsibility for where I am in my emotional maturity.  The more I practice this, the more I have become more compassionate and tolerant of others.

I find it interesting as well, how we seem to be able to look at others and see their obvious greatness and gifts, when others seem blind to it.  The mirror works that way too.  Seeing the best in others means on some level we see our own best, even when we aren't totally aware of it.  It used to trigger me so bad when other people, through my eyes were amazing at what they did, but weren't owning their awesomeness, but that's because on some level I wasn't owning MINE!  

We humans tend to look outside ourselves for answers when in fact looking within,  accepting and taking responsibility for our own shortcomings eventually brings us to a place of accepting the shortcomings of others.  It's like an old parlor trick this life of ours, smoke and mirrors.

As I move through the waves of uncomfortable feelings of great insecurity, fear and vulnerability, I'm learning to have compassion for myself as opposed to being angry with myself or worse, fighting those feelings.  I really do know that the feelings aren't my enemy, they are my ally.  They surface to help me understand and accept all parts of myself.  Shadow and light.  If I can accept the shadow in me, I can easily accept others for how they are.

Every one of us have different issues that continue to surface and will continue to surface until we can be honest with ourselves and take 100% responsibility for what takes place on our inner landscape.  What we resist persists, so the sooner we're willing to take time, and get to know our true selves, the things we continue to resist, stop surfacing.  Once again it's a process and it takes dedication and patience and a willingness to stop fighting the uncomfortable feelings, and just feel them. 

I use the world outside myself now as a gauge for my inner world. It's taken years of practice but it's been worth the effort so far. If I am angry at someone or something, I ask myself 'where inside yourself are you angry with yourself Barb?' ..... or if I find myself passing judgement on another, I ask myself 'where inside yourself are you still judging yourself Barb?' ..... or if I find myself wanting to place blame on another, I ask myself 'where inside yourself are you still unable to forgive yourself Barb?'  Using this method, for me, has been and continues to be truly transforming.  

Taking time to get quiet and go within is a great tool and keeps us connected to our higher selves.  I think it's important in this day and age where distraction is a constant temptation.  It's in that quiet place where we can nurture those hurt parts and learn to love the parts that we've spent far too much energy denying.  

I can't do it for you, and you can't do it for me....and maybe you don't wanna do it at all, and that's okay too!!   

Peace, Love and Know Thyself

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